The filthiest words: love yourself. 🤮 Why does trauma create barriers between us and... not hating us? Talkin' lost relationships, criteria for love, loss of self, and the endless self scrutiny created by post-traumatic judgments. It's a BIG EPISODE with some BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS - grab your pepto and let's talk about "self-love-y." WATCH IT HERE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Education and Responsibility are important for t-recovery... But progress peters when self-punishment predominates. Without self-compassion, regression becomes reality. Let's talk about the requirement for self-compassion and 5 ways to do it. video! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When life serves conflictual and confusing information, our brains simplify it to survive... and fuck us over in the long-run. Let's talk about the "ALL GOOD" and "ALL BAD" self-defense mechanisms of Splitting and Projective Identification, what function they serve as children & adults, and how they create shitass trauma-bound lives down the line. Catch the FREE VIDEO PRESENTATION here. Just select "join for free" and it will be available - no strings attached. <3 Or here if you use Spotify! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ready to learn about the maladaptive tendencies of your most difficult relational partners? When we don't believe we're "entitled" to a need or emotion, we vent it into (unwise) action. Let's discuss the immature cognitive patterns we/others may still be utilizing to keep our brains "safe." We'll cover the lowest level self-defense mechanisms: Acting Out, Help-Rejecting Complaining, and Passive Aggression.  PS - Here's the free video version! https://www.patreon.com/posts/106981368/ subscribe for free to gain access to extras like this! Want to learn a lot more about these SDMs? Sub the full ⁠patreon page⁠, where we're talking about each one in depth! Next up: Image-splitting and Object Projection. Toot Toot, all aboard Fuckers. Cheers! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We've learned that narcs don't generally recover because of their "creative narration" abilities. Now, let's talk about some of the ways they spin those stories. Today, we start our examination of self-defense mechanisms by looking at the purposes of Intellectualization and Rationalization. Then, we ask the question: SO HOW SMART ARE THEY? And discuss the distinct Thought Processing limitations of both Grandiose and Vulnerable Narcissists. Want the full story? Find the longform episodes on these topics at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers or check the new subscription stream on Spotify for all recent releases in video form, right on your favorite streaming app! Good to speak to you like a human again... And Cheers, Fuckers! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

They'll shake your hand while pissing on your leg, plead and then pulverize promises, and generally give the sense that they're one hundred people who share a face. But why? Let's talk about narcissist personality structuring that ranges from neurotic to psychopathic, but never hits the mark of "maturity." Meanwhile, creating the condition I've titled simply: There is no Integrity without Integration. Into this talk? Come hang out, there's been plenty more at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers or the new Spotify exclusive subscription option found here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Just feel good about your authentic self and don't let anyone wreck your recognition of specialness." Right. Let's talk about what may be holding us back from achieving this safe, centered, self-supportive, resilience-boosting psychological station, and the easiest way to achieve the "healthy self" that's never been otherwise defined. Adaptive Narcissism. Plus, we'll be discussing how AN relates to VN and GN; reiterating the truth that going small with your self is not the answer to trauma recovery. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why is the decision to sacrifice or save our brains so difficult to make? Let's talk about subconscious narratives we probably all carry, the ambivalence-guilt connection, and the power of perception on caregiving burden. Find the transcript at t-mfrs.com Looking for the 9 full episodes on this topic? Hit up the Filial Obligation Collection on patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. Need some FilOb support? There's a group coming for that dontchaknow. Stay tuned. Cheers FCKRS. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A big 'nouncement; so long TMFRS! Then let's talk about what constitutes a VulNarc versus "a person with CPTSD." Where does the chronic manipulation come from? How are recovery resources used for trauma-unhealing? What's up with the hostility and antagonism? . Lots to cover in this mashup of "time, space, and energy" meets "VulNarcs" and "trauma-selves." . For even more detail, check the newly updated Narc Collection at Patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers . And thank you again for the past 4 years of gettin nerdy together. See you in the next evolution. 🙏❤️🍻 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This year we spoke about Intimacy. Now it's time to confront *Intimacy.* Let's look at the discrepant programs that live inside of us, gathered across a lifetime of adaptation to extreme events and unhealthy narratives. We're talking Sexual Healing vs. Internal Family Systems and deprived needs. Need this conversation more than you knew? Check out patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers for the application-heavy episodes, and see what you find out about yourself. While you're there, add a little mutuality to this exchange, by helping to support this DIY healing project. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're tying up loose ends in our discussion of relationships! Today, discussing the cognitive copy-pastes we accidentally carry out between past and present relationships - and they ways they set us back in our recovery goals while creating abusive dynamics. Need more thoughts about transference in all its forms? I've got another hour of material and an animated vid on this one. Check patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers for more help, or go to t-mfrs.com to get your pubpod transcripts and learn more about the project. Cheers y'all! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let's cut the brainy shit, the real answer to surviving the holidays is not abandoning yourself. Need more holiday support? Don't we all. For all the other holiday freebies, just hit up patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. Search "holiday" to find releases from the past for no cost, or subscribe to access the pre-wrangled Holiday Survival Collection for your listening ease. Stay safe, support yourself, and see you soon Fucker! MFJess and Marcus Barkus --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Back to NonViolent Communication! Here are 10 things the experts say destroy our attempts at vulnerable disclosures and requests. Just in time for the holidays, let's talk about why these conversational reactions burn our t-brains and why people are programmed to use them, anyways. For the full transcript and all the doods, check t-mfrs.com and get ready to peruse for hours. To jump into the full-length conversations and deep dives, head over to patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. And help support this project's continuation while you're there! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We learn to neglect ourselves at an early age and then everything goes to hell forever after. Stuck in unfixable suffering, toiling away with ineffectual attempts to comfort ourselves, and possibly... destroying our own lives, in an attempt to end the self-deprivation through backdoor methods. Let's talk about needs and what happens when we learn there are "required" versus "unallowed" ways we're permitted to care about ourselves. If this show made your eyes get real big, you may want to check out this full episode series. Hit patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers and jump into the "NonViolent Communication Collection" for all the episodes, videos, workbooks, and reflection exercises on self-neglect. And we'll be returning to talking deprivation in a few weeks :) Cheers, Fuckers! Jess --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Depression is the reward we get for being good children." NVC helps yer relationships, sure. But it'll also rewire your t-brain trashhabits, emotional misunderstandings, and shit perspectives if you use it solo. Let's talk about the roots of the worst of us; our unmet needs and beliefs that deprivation = goodness. Which create vicious cycles of projection, unfulfillment, and relational abuse. Like reading along and looking at scribbles? Find your transcript here, Fucker. Ready to dive headfirst into this conversation, or any of our other topical focuses? Hit up "Collections" of episodes, workbooks, videos, polls, bonuses, and more at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. ... and help this one-person operation keep rolling, while you learn. <3 Thanks for your support, Muffs. Cheers! Jess and Barkus --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever feel "unheard"? Well, here's the key to getting your point across and sparking collaboration rather than opposition. Today, we're talking about NonViolent Communication (NVC) - the 4 step framework for communicating effectively about emotions and unmet needs without stimulating defensive reactions or leaning on your own deeply ingrained control tactics... And so much more. Wanna transcript and some doods to listen along with? Find it here! Looking to do more than scratch the surface on NonViolent Communication? Check out the new NVC "Collection" as it populates on Patreon! We're wrapping about all the NLP details and recovery implications with whiteboard vids and workbooks, to boot, at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. ps - your patronage makes this entire project possible. Thank you, Fuckers. Cheers MFJess --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So, how do we apologize "the right way"... Rather than creating MORE damage through half-assed "I'm sorrys"? Today, let's talk about the 5 points for offering a real apology for sake of true relational healing... And four examples of how NOT to apologize, unless you actually want to make the emotional abandonment experience worse for your partner. Looking for 10 more examples of terrible non-apologies? Hit up the recent episode "Non-Apology Apologies" over at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers. And fuckle up for NonViolent Communication month, coming at ya in September. For the transcript version of this (and every) episode, go to t-mfrs.com. And do some extra CPTSD learnin while you're there. Cheers, Fuckers! MFJess --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How DO we heal what's been broken? I've got a short phrase for you - it's what we've all needed to hear all along. And let's talk about the timeless wounds patched up by real apologies, as we prepare to talk about shitty apologies next time. Hail yerSelf and Cheers Fuckers. Git the transcript version of this post at t-mfrs.com and check out some doods while you're there. Catch up on the recent downpour of episodes over at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers and help this one-human DIY project keep spreading the good news about healing. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all know about the 4 survival Fs at this point. But how about the additional F reactions- Fronting and Feigning? Let's talk about learned reactions that keep us feeling safe in relationship... while rotting out the connection, engaging manipulation tactics, and using fear as a self-defense. Looking for more "real relationship talk"? Well that's the order of the month, over in the private podcast stream. We're dropping four full episodes of "less fluffy" relational conversations, talking about how relationally traumatized partnerships actually tend to shake out... and how to "read them" before you're in too deep. See you there! And cheers, Fuckers! MFJess --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We've talked a lot about committing fully to relationships and overcoming our conflicts together, through examining the subconscious wounds that actually underly our relational upsets. But here's my question: Is that realistic? Today, we talk about getting clearer on the contents of our potential and current relationship partners' preprogramming, through checking our own somatic experiences, our shared trauma histories, and their adaptions to the social systems that raised them. For alllll the relationship x CPTSD details that will reframe how you view other people and yourself... hit patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers and join the private conversation around relearning "healthy relating." Prepare to reflect. 🍻 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.