In this follow up to my last episode, “Intrusive Thoughts,” I go into more depth as to how to navigate the thoughts that seem to take over and rob you of your peace. I share two points that will help you gain some traction and direction the next time an intrusive thought shows up. Point one is about how intrusive thoughts can keep us stuck in the past rather than seeing what is in front of us. I also talk about how sometimes staying in this space can keep us from our own growth and development. Point two is about allowing the thoughts that come up to show us what we need to do to close “open loops” in our mind. This part is about leaning into the things we need to be looking at to set down the thoughts that keep showing up. Don’t miss this episode, as you will leave with even more direction and actionable steps to take that will help you quiet your mind and move forward. Schedule a free call to join my new group, “Get Your Life Back After Infidelity.” To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

Do you struggle with intrusive thoughts? These are the ones that pop up, seemingly out of nowhere, and can derail your whole day. In this episode, I cover where these thoughts come from, and how to process them so they no longer have a hold on you. You will learn a strategy that will: Help you bring more awareness to the thought Give you direction as to what to do with it (so you are in charge of the thought rather than it being in charge of you). If you are like every client I have ever worked with, you have unwanted thoughts, and are tired of the hold they have on you. Don’t miss this episode to learn how to get a hold on the thoughts that can disturb your peace. Want to work with me? Schedule a free call to join my new group, “Get Your Life Back After Infidelity.” To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

What happens when something you believed as true is challenged? Or when you make up your mind about something and immediately doubt it? Does it mean you made the wrong decision, or is something else happening? In this episode, you’ll learn all about cognitive dissonance and how it is an indication that something is out of alignment for you. It may be that your beliefs need to be reevaluated or expanded. It may be that you are being led into deeper self-trust and wisdom. While cognitive dissonance can be quite uncomfortable, it can lead you into a place of deep peace, knowing that your internal values match your external actions. How to work with me: https://calendly.com/andreagilescoaching/get-your-life-back To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

After infidelity, the decision needs to be made whether to stay or go. But for most people, that is only half the decision. Many people go through life being physically in a relationship but emotionally out. Some leave marriages physically but cannot separate themselves emotionally from their spouse, so they don’t really move on. In this episode, I help you identify exactly where you are in your process forward. I help you know how to more fully commit to getting where you want to go so you can have real peace. This is deep emotional work, and this episode can help you understand not only why it has been so difficult to go all in, but how you can help yourself get there. Join me for my free webinar, HOW TO GET YOUR LIFE BACK AFTER INFIDELITY, on August 26th at 2 pm MST. You can register here. To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

When you think of yourself, do you identify more with being someone who has been traumatized, or as someone who is incredibly resilient, despite your trauma? Humans all experience trauma. It is inescapable. But what we forget is that as humans we are built to be resilient, and to rise above our trauma- not get stuck in it. In this episode, you’ll learn how to create more resiliency as you navigate the choppy waters of infidelity. You will understand how you are getting yourself stuck in the story of your trauma, and leave with a clear path of how to grow stronger, despite your challenges. Interested in my coaching program? Schedule a free 1-1 call with me below to see if it would be a good fit for you. https://calendly.com/andreagilescoaching/know-in-90 To learn more from me, be sure to join email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

Most of us understand the importance and significance of courage. It is an emotion that can help us to look at hard things in our lives. But if we are unwilling to take action based on our feeling of courage, we end up right where we started. In this episode, I share some ideas pertaining to infidelity about some of the ways we need to not only have courage, but to turn that courage into action to ultimately have what we want. I use specific stories and analogies to help my listeners know how this applies to them, and things they can start doing today. Ways to work with me: Want to know how to decide to stay or go after infidelity? Join my free class here. Interested in my coaching program? Schedule a free 1-1 call with me below to see if it would be a good fit for you. https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/ To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

How much pressure do you put on yourself to “Keep the Peace”? Maybe there are things you don’t say because you don’t want to create conflict. Maybe you just stuff things down rather than speak up and make others uncomfortable. In this episode, I discuss the concept of keeping the peace and where it often backfires. What if there is something better than keeping the peace? What if protecting your own peace over others' is the best work you can do? If you want to understand areas you are hiding to maintain peace, listen to this episode. You will grow in your courage and strength to stand up for what you want most, even if it means temporarily rocking the boat in the name of creating long-term peace. Ways to work with me: Want to know how to decide to stay or go after infidelity? Join my free class here. Interested in my coaching program? Schedule a free 1-1 call with me to see if it would be a good fit for you. https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/ To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

In the aftermath of infidelity, it can feel like your life has been blown up, and our spouse sometimes does not seem to understand how much their choices impacted us. This episode discusses the importance of knowing that our spouse “gets it” in order to really move forward and build trust. I also discuss growing our capacity to look at ourselves and how the things we say and do affect others. Solid relationships are built on both people taking responsibility for how we each impact each other. Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/ To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

In this episode, I welcome guest and self-advocacy expert, Samantha Nielsen to the show. If you have ever struggled in knowing how to speak up for yourself, this episode is for you. Samantha shares her own experience with watching herself shrink and be miserable until it became unbearable. She had an amazing transformation and completely changed her life. More about Samantha: Samantha is the happiest divorced woman on the planet! She believes that divorce is a necessary resource, gift and tool. Divorce, while difficult, allows people to move beyond hopeless situation and create new and better outcomes. While finding the courage to leave a difficult relationship can be one of the most difficult decisions, it is also incredibly empowering. Samantha holds a degree in Interpersonal Communications. She's also a Certified Life & Divorce Coach. Samantha offers private coaching to both men and women in all stages of the divorcing process. Connect with Samantha at www.moderndaydivorce.com or on Instagram at: @modern.day.divorce. Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/ To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

Do you often wonder how you’ll know the difference between a truth and a lie? It is a common question after infidelity, since the very nature of infidelity includes deceit. In this episode, I share a powerful analogy that will help you discern for yourself between truth and error. You will come away from this episode wiser, more in tune with your own truth, and with a higher commitment to seeking truth, at all cost. Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/ To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

In this lost and found episode, I share a story of recently losing my child in Disneyland and some profound lessons that came from that. I came away from that experience recognizing clearer than ever that we are not meant to do life alone, especially the hard part. In an intense situation, helpers came. Kindness was shown. I want this for you, too, as you navigate feeling lost in infidelity. Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/ To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

In this episode, you’ll learn how grandiosity can lead to affairs. If we think we are better than others, we tend to excuse our behavior and make exceptions for ourselves. You’ll learn what grandiosity is and how it can show up for the betrayed partner as well as the one who betrayed. You’ll have a clear understanding of how the mindset of grandiosity gets in the way of real transparency, connection and healing and what to to about it. Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/ To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

Are there things in your life you want to change? Do you want your spouse to change? In this episode, you will learn the fast-track to how to really, deeply, fundamentally change. Instead of just believing that you can’t change or that you are simply a failure in aspects of your life, you’ll understand why change has not “stuck” in the past, and how to move forward in becoming who you want to be. You’ll also learn how to see if someone else is just going through the motions, or deeply changing. Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/ To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

There is a lot of discussion about infidelity, but what about fidelity? What does it even look like to live in a high fidelity marriage? In this episode you will learn about five elements that have to be present to have a high fidelity marriage. Even if you have already experienced infidelity, fidelity can be learned. It can become your new reality, and it begins with becoming 100% faithful to yourself. Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/ To learn more from me, be sure to join my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

One of the main questions we have after experiencing infidelity is, “How do I know it won’t happen again?” In this episode, I teach about risk as being inherent in relationships and how to avoid taking risks with an unlikely return on investment. You’ll learn what questions to ask yourself to gauge just how much risk you are taking, and when it is wise to go all in. Risk IS inherent in any relationship, but in this episode you will learn how to be wiser about it. Want to work with me? Apply to join my group coaching program here. To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list here. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

Have you ever wondered if what you experienced is infidelity? For some situations, there is no doubt. But for many others, there is a lot of nuance. In this episode, you’ll learn exactly what infidelity is. When you have the words to define your experience, it is empowering. You are able to see more clearly why your experience felt like a violation, and what to do with that information. As the saying goes, knowledge is power. The more you know, the more you will be able to confidently advocate for yourself. To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list here. Apply for my group program, Know in 90, here. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

Often times, in an attempt to avoid temporary pain and discomfort, we avoid hard conversations, stuff down our own feelings and hide how we really feel from others. In this episode, you’ll learn about how to create long term healing by practicing the concept of sustainability. By looking down the road at what we may have to deal with if we put things off today, it can give us the courage to do the hard things now, knowing we are ultimately creating something lasting. Most of all, you will learn how to help create sustainable practices of healing that will help you truly transcend infidelity and use it for your good. Shelley Swapp’s information: www.shelleyswapp.com To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Apply for my group program, Know in 90, here: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

This episode is all about why we excuse bad behavior. Whether it be from our kids, spouse, co-workers, boss, etc., there are reasons we allow people to treat us the way they do. When you know what to look for and how to deal with the discomfort of teaching people how to treat you, life gets a whole lot easier. Most of us are conflict-averse and put up with behaviors that aren’t helping anybody. You can learn how to lovingly hold people accountable while growing your own self-respect. To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Get on my waitlist for my signature group coaching program at: https://andreagiles.com/know-in-90/ Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

2022 was one for the books for me personally. I started the year with a new baby, launched a new program, and grew in ways I didn’t know I needed. In this episode, I share my biggest lesson from the year: one that, when practiced, can bring relief and peace even in the midst of uncertainty and discomfort. The lesson is around the concept of duality: The ability to hold onto two opposing views at the same time. Don’t miss this episode if you want help navigating the things that don’t make sense or don’t have an easy answer. To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Get on my waitlist for my signature group coaching program here. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2020 - 2023 Andrea Giles

In a world that praises extreme independence, many of us don’t know how to help each other calm our nervous systems. We may even think it is co-dependence to try to help each other in this way. In this week’s episode, we will take a deep dive into what it actually means to co-regulate, and how it can bring deep healing. We will also take a look at how our parents help us to learn how to settle ourselves down by first regulating with us. You’ll understand what healthy co-regulation means as opposed to co-dysregulation. Don’t miss this episode- first to understand your own patterns better, and to learn how to ask for the help you need. To learn more from me, be sure to be on my email list at: https://andreagiles.com/lies-about-infidelity/ Get on my waitlist for my signature group coaching program here. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit my website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2022 Andrea Giles