The pod welcomes comedian Chloe Petts for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as she chooses her six most niche fascinations and irritations of football. Among Chloe's selections are the precarious vocal range of solo football chanters, the rise of copycat goal celebrations, members of the public kicking balls into thing for half-time on-pitch entertainment, the indignity of the unused-sub warm-down, the lack of true toxicity in the WSL and forecasting where managerial touchline fashion trends go next. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel rule on Amazon Prime Video's pioneering addition to the traditional on-screen score graphic and enjoy Eddie Howe's very "football manager" birthday message to a 100-year-old. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the 'goalscoring formality' commentator intonation, the best off-pitch storming the Premier League has ever seen, Gary Neville's audio cameo in Squid Game: The Challenge, a new Italian contender to describe the top corner and Richard Keys lays out the future for Manchester United. Meanwhile, the panel debate what it means for a team to "come unstuck", choose the most Euros-y Euro 2024 group and decide if there should be a height limit to be called a "maestro". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: an inevitable Championship chant, the final reckoning for Harry Redknapp's car window, the first name on the teamsheet for a PGMOL Fast-Tracked Ex-Player Referees XI and a new low for football in films. Meanwhile, Charlie and David go head-to-head once again in Premier League goalscoring quiz Happy Hunting Grounds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Peter Drury's weather reports, the crucial difference between being "found out" and "worked out", things you can "ooze" in football, and who can and cannot be said to have "graced the Premier League". Meanwhile, the panel take a close look at a magnificent YouTube 90s football project and envisage the archetypal "seen 'em given" penalty incident. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field this month's listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the very deliberate way managers drink their bottled water, a deep dive into amateur-level stud selection, an unfathomable fetish for free kicks into the box that bounce all the way in, the merits of football freestylers, the etiquette of pre-match Sunday League rondos and goalkeepers who look like they've carried the ball out of the box before kicking it from their hands. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel anticipate Richard Keys' TikTok debut and contemplate whether an entire club can be described as "a Rolls-Royce". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: bands named after footballers, fixtures being described as "mouthwatering" after they've happened, "the Scott McTominay of antiobiotics" and who exactly a player's "opposite number" is. Meanwhile, there's a photo-finish in For My Sins Corner and Charlie's out for revenge in Premier League goals quiz Happy Hunting Grounds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Ali Maxwell - co-creator of the Not The Top 20 podcast - to take on the daunting task of selecting a lineup of players that embody the Football League in all its glory. The selection panel weigh up a long list of ex-England Under-21 goalkeepers, stalwarts who dragged their clubs up through the divisions, players turned pundits, playmakers who dropped down the ladder to shine and cheerfully relentless goal machines. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the inside story of a viral Sunday League wondergoal, the Premier League's Twitter account crosses a line, a Luton fan's incredibly niche spreadsheet and how Blackburn Rovers briefly got embroiled in the Iraq War Meanwhile, the panel debate what constitutes a "rasping" shot and set the threshold for a defensive "comedy of errors." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The pod welcomes comedian, actor and writer George Lewis for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, choosing his six most niche fascinations and irritations of football. Among George's selections are the HR-defying mythology of the dressing room, kids mindlessly emulating the mannerisms of star players, the rise of the words “we talk about...” in punditry and Coronation Street vs EastEnders in accurately depicting footballspeak. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel analyse some AI commentary of a famous Lionel Messi goal and pick apart some commentary highlights from the chaos of Spurs vs Chelsea. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some low-key FA Cup magic from Horsham FC's Twitter account, yet more footballspeak in the political sphere, what makes a player "a revelation" and the dying art of managers "moving upstairs". Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many goals constitute a player "helping themselves", which players are permitted to "run a game" and the first-choice verb for collecting assists. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the final word on the "giant clubs" debate, some troubling new verbs emerging in the free-kick department and ex-Premier League wingers popping up in 2006 alt-country album tracks Meanwhile, the panel forecast England's Euro 2024 clamouring saga and the pod dramatically unveils its new mini-quiz format, Happy Hunting Grounds. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: whether or not a player's nickname can be inspired by a player from the same division, what constitutes a "late show", the art of the fake final whistle, the so-called refereeing "Big Two", an absurd development for Footballers' Names in Things, and which European clubs are eligible to be their country's "giants". Meanwhile, the panel define which errors are the most 'schoolboy' and try to calculate the maximum speed and distance of a player "ghosting in". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Jack Lang to compile the quintessential lineup of players from the last few decades of Spanish football and its many idiosyncrasies. The selection panel weigh up "the Spanish Dave Beasant", at least three left-backs called "Fran", the inevitable Joaquin, a 7/10 story about Ruben Baraja, some pretty playmakers, an astonishing number of Serbians and a heartbreaking choice between two ageing Basque goal-getters. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a triple helping of "footballers' names appearing in things", Sean Dyche describes his Glastonbury weekend exactly as a football manager would, what constitutes a "crisp finish", footballing "cheat codes", early consolation goals and a potential fixture pile-up in an actual farmers' league and Richard Keys's latest irritation. Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many goals behind a team has to be to "have it all to do" and wonder why nobody's ever seen a footballer sneeze mid-game. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain the listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the political influences on modern-day school playground football, unacceptable names for skill moves, subtle ways to declare your club allegiance to office colleagues and a deep analysis of the lure of a background pub TV game that you didn’t think you'd care about. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some classy co-commentary from Dion Dublin and contemplate the cricket equivalent of footballing "dreamland". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker as the Cliches podcast returns with the first Adjudication Panel of 2023/24. The agenda includes: how and when a player can be “electric”, some scepticism about Dominik Szoboszlai’s Steven Gerrard-inspired tattoo, a sensational description for a central-midfield partnership and a long-awaited catch-up with Keys & Gray. Meanwhile, the panel challenge the current “tackles always look worse in slow motion” dogma and decide, once and for all, how many goals constitute “chipping in” to a team’s season. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do we talk about football the way we do? Adam Hurrey’s truly unique podcast returns to explore the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés. It’s a podcast about everything we take for granted about the modern game. Twice a week, the Football Clichés Adjudication Panel will rule on the latest crimes against football’s complex language, select obscure themed XIs, welcome star guests to choose their niche footballing loves and hates, and much more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices