Surviving Narcissism - Narcissist Rehab

SE 2 EP 7 - Taking time to reflect, and keeping moving forward!

It's been over a year, since we talked. Let's face it 2020 was nightmare, and 2021 looks to provide the same chaos that we are all too familiar with. Firstly, I want to "Thank You", everyone who has been a listener since the podcast began. I have received numerous e-mails and messages from all over the world who have listened and loved the podcast, and have wondered what I've been up to the past year. I stopped recording last year to focus on work, my business and my relationship. I have had many ups and downs just like anyone else, and we are all a work in progress. When I set out to start this podcast, I did with the intentions of using this therapy to connect with others, and. I am floored by the responses of you all. I am humbled, grateful and tankful for you all and although what we experienced completely sucked, we are here to connect within this community of survivors to learn and understand so we are not faced with a cycle of repeating this horrible experience over and over. My goal is to continue creating more episodes, and transition to life after narcissism and what we are empaths face in the reality of not trusting, and living a guarded life so that we don't allow ourselves to get hurt again. Remember, this isn't a race- its a marathon and we all go at our own pace. We have to be transparent with ourselves, and there is no time limit on healing yourself so that you can be the BEST version of yourself. See you in the next episode!

September 8, 2021

6 min

Why loving yourself is important, one year later..

This episode I dive deep into where I am currently in my journey recovering from Narcissism. I felt compelled to share this personal message, to help you understand how important it is to learn to love yourself again. I want to be transparent and hope this helps provide insight in your journey.

July 12, 2020

17 min

This is the Narcissist's Achilles Heel

If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you will have been through a roller-coaster of ups and downs. Some narcissists live through others in hopes of boosting their own low self-esteem or vicariously fulfilling their own unrealized fantasies and dreams. Underneath their façade is toxic shame, which may even be unconscious. Shame makes narcissists feel insecure and inadequate―vulnerable feelings that they must deny to themselves and others. This is one reason that they can’t take criticism, responsibility, dissent, or negative feedback even when meant to be constructive. Instead, they demand unconditional, positive regard from others A weakness of a narcissist is their extreme hatred of being embarrassed. There is nothing worse for them than having someone point out even the slightest fault. Ironically, they have no problem openly doing this to others. ... Here are eleven ways a narcissist uses shame to control others. The biggest impact you can make on attacking a narcissist at their Achilles Heel is loss of power, and loss of complete control of their victim. They’ve been working extremely hard around the clock to convince you, through constant manipulation, emotionally beating you down, and keeping disconnected from reality that once they lose control of you; be prepared for the toxic destruction, verbal abuse, wreck-less attempts to bully you, lie to you, love bomb, and torment you even more... your now the enemy and must be taken down at al cost. You have to be prepared MENTALLY, they will use any leverage they have- your friends, family and even your own children. They love manufacturing lies, and creating trouble- is empowering and watching you fall to the ground in pain as you suffer through and find out who they truly are. But... being mentally prepared for this to happen is what’s so vital to how you will be able to undermine the entire show and change the plot of the story. It’s hard I’m not going to lie, it will take every ounce of life- every thing you’ve got! The reality here and what really happens is we get trapped in this idea that people are generally good people unless they give us a reason to think otherwise; we don’t assume people are bad actors or have an ulterior motive unless we are faced with those behaviors. Interestingly enough, we allow people we love to “hurt” us because we are strong, it’s nothing we can’t handle; and this is a double edged sword and cuts both ways. We love to help, honor, love, obey and most of all remain loyal/ even to someone who has proven themselves unworthy. You have to be relentless, you have to become the person you never wanted to be, hard-cold-distant-disconnected and protect yourselves and the ones you love. A narcissist doesn’t know love, they don’t connect with human emotion; they’re true self is buried deep within the roots of confusion, intertwined in evil self seeking, built upon decades of guilt, shame, suffocating in their own insecurities. This is the person you never meet, and this is why it’s so hard to pull away/ because you want to believe that the odds are in your favor. You can take your freedom back, your life and find happiness again, but you have to fight this head on- no one else can fight your battles- take what I’m telling you and apply this, you have to be strategic and plan; you think the narcissist put you here by accident? There’s a method to the madness, and now it’s your turn. PayPal:

June 30, 2020

10 min

Male Vs. Female Narcissist..and which one is worse?

This episode discussed the differences between both male and female, the similarities and differences. Too often, narcissism is portrayed as an overly aggressive male disorder. It is not. Females can be narcissistic as well although it might look a bit different from males. Appearance. Narcissists, in general, believe themselves to be attractive and are usually well groomed to attract attention. While males combine their attractiveness with charm to accomplish a goal, females use it to gain superiority. Most females tend to be obsessed with their appearance sometimes resulting in numerous drastic changes. Seduction. Both male and females narcissists are generally gifted in the art of seduction, but how they seduce is different. Males use their charm to entice their partner, while females use their bodies. Confidence. Narcissists cover their deep-rooted insecurity with a belief that they are “special.” Males tend to be self-confident, gaining their assurance from within. Females gain their poise from comparing their superiority over others. Money. The love of money is strong for narcissists as they believe money gives them power, control, success, status, and dominance over others. Appearance. Narcissists, in general, believe themselves to be attractive and are usually well groomed to attract attention. While males combine their attractiveness with charm to accomplish a goal, females use it to gain superiority. Children. Narcissists like to raise baby narcissists. Often they pick a favorite child and focus all of their efforts and attention on that child. The other children are left feeling inadequate, unworthy, and insecure. Males generally view children as a nuisance, frequently complaining that they, not the children, should have all the attention of their spouse or partner. Females view children as an extension of themselves, even when the child is an adult. Competition. Nothing proves supremacy quite like competition for narcissists. They love an opportunity to excel over others at work and at home. While the competitiveness is frequently praised in a job, it is not amongst family. Males treat other males as rivals. This can be seen in brother/brother and parent/child relationships. Females battle with other females for dominance. This is seen in sister/sister and parent/child relationships

June 25, 2020

12 min

Gaslighting is Dangerous, here's why.

Narcissist denies reality to avoid any consequences ( EXAMPLES: they say your paranoid, misunderstood them, that’s not what said, you just don’t listen to me when I talk, this causes emotional distress and constant confusion to the victim) Denies the reality of the “empath” to intentionally erode their sanity, (remember they want you to feel disconnected from the truth, this is accomplished through a series of mind control attempts by hijacking your ability to think through and process the reality of what your truly experiencing. You stop being able to use your own checks and balances and start leaning into the narcissist for guidance for things you were able to do on your own before. A narcissistic person will deny the true reality in any situation or circumstance- because they don’t understand the reality of the empath and can’t experience real emotions, once they begin to use this gaslighting technique you begin to feel hopeless, similar to a spin wheel and never seem to make progress or come to a clear understanding of where you stand with the narcissist The call you crazy /you have mental health issues/you need help what the narcissist thinks is You’re not the pathological one here, I am. You’re just catching onto who I really am behind the mask and attempting to hold me accountable for my questionable behavior. You’re just insecure and jealous! Translation: I enjoy planting seeds of insecurity and doubt in your mind about your attractiveness, competence, and personality. If you dare to question my numerous flirtations, affairs, and inappropriate interactions, I’ll be sure to put you back in your place in fear of losing me. Lastly.... Conserving your energy! Their goal is to drain you, they mirror you with all of those wonderful traits you have- they want you to give up and lose the battle - the game you’ve entered into with them. They need you at your weakest, because then they feel accomplished and you feel completely defeated. This isn’t some accident, this is working the way it was designed. You don’t realize how much damage a person can cause by falling into their toxic web, they seek after great people like you and I and we have to stick together to send a message that were not here to play their game!

April 6, 2020

16 min

Why do we crave people who are toxic?

We crave love and are usually the ones who are emotionally connected, and they are great at deceiving us in our efforts to naturally want to be loved and cared for as humans. Narcissist are broken people who can’t reciprocate those same feelings, they’re a hollow shell -full of nothing, but low self esteem and absolutely have no idea who they are. You on the other hand- full of life, love and affection and carry these positive, healthy traits they they want so bad!! They honestly will ever get to experience life’s fullest potential. We make excuses of their actions. We always dig for excuses as to why they said what they did, acted the way they did -when all it boils down to is an adult who doesn’t take responsibility for their own actions. We always gravitate toward wanting to help someone work through their struggles, when all the narcissist can do is complain about how their life’s turmoil was caused by someone else’s wrong doings. They allow us to pity them with their stories of struggle, and pulling the victim card at every stop. Empaths generally want to take the load of someone’s emotional pain and struggle and treat it as their own; even when it’s not. We want to take the burden of stress, anxiety from those we love and care about. Remember that someone who feels pity for someone else is automatically going to shift to the offense, and let their defensive guard down. The “Empath” is constantly confirming and setting the bar of expectations so high, by expressing that they, “the empath” , will never do those horrible things that their previous partner did. The narcissist all of a sudden feels relieved that you actually bought their story. The tables eventually shift and we will later find ourselves,seeking validation from the narcissist. BOTTOM LINE. They want to test you in the beginning to check vulnerabilities, how easy influenced you are and determining if your going to be a good source of supply for them. They need to gauge how much control they will be able to have, and the end goal is try to use every source of supply that tour can provide, once the oil is all pumped and the rig is dry it’s time to move to the next victim

March 5, 2020

11 min

Covert Vs. Overt... the difference?

Overt behaviors are those that can be easily observed by others, such as those of the traditional narcissist You ever have a conversation with someone and it feels like they’re trying to pressure you into telling them how nice, or important or accomplished they are? Passive Self-Importance - in a more subtle way, buy not over the top they constantly want you to give them validation and they will make comments to lead you into praising them at something they know they’re already good at. You’ll notice too that The reality for both the overt and covert narcissist is that they have a fragile sense of self. The covert narcissist certainly craves importance and thirsts for admiration but it can look different An overt narcissist will display all kinds of attention seeking behaviors, compared to a covert but in a sly under the table approach. both the overt and covert narcissist is that they have a fragile sense of self. The covert narcissist will be much more likely to constantly seek reassurance about their talents, skills, and accomplishments, looking for others to feed that same need for self-importance. A covert narcissist explain why something is your fault and they are not to blame. They might even pretend to be a victim of your behavior to put themselves in a position to receive reassurance and praise from you.the goal of the narcissist is to make the other person feel less than superior to their victim People with covert narcissism might make dismissive or sarcastic remarks and act as if they’re above the criticism. But internally, they might feel empty, humiliated, or enraged.

February 5, 2020

11 min

Why do narcissist cheat? Who's the real victim?

Cheating is quite easy for them. They never saw your life together as something sacred, they don’t value your relationship anymore than they valued the last dozen relationships they’ve destroyed. If you’re feeling paralyzed knowing someone you loved and cared about is now moving on... this is exactly what they were hoping for. They didn’t have any real love for you, which is why they don’t see it as cheating, that’s why accident after accidents can occur too bad we can insure our relationships and raise the deductible after each occurrence. They know your a nice person, who has a job-responsibilities and have resources incase they get in abind. They know you’ll bail them out every time and once you try to cut them off you’ll start seeing the real side of this person. So cheating is actually fun! They will blackmail you, smear the name you’ve worked hard to build and create in your communities and leverage any possible opportunity and attempt to ruin you at all cost and bury you alive. They can actually be some of the hardest people to get rid of, people their so skilled at manipulating others. See how entertaining this is? You see.. they only see one side of anything... their side. Their version.. their narrative. They don’t care what version of the story your see, because if it’s not theirs it simply doesn’t exist. Cheating actually feels good to them, it feels great and it’s exciting. The hiding your messages, sneaking around, and lying almost provides a rush with hit of dopamine in the brain! The narrative can always change because they have this false illusion of how things actually occurred. You remember how they pushed your buttons constantly to gain a positive or negative reaction? They constantly pushed your boundaries, and did it on purpose. They truly want to see how much control you’ll allow them to have. Have you ever wanted something so bad that once you got it, you didn’t want it anymore. That’s how they felt about you and me.

January 21, 2020

9 min

Surviving Narcissism - Narcissist Rehab

About the podcast Surviving Narcissism - Narcissist Rehab

Categories

SE 2 EP 7 - Taking time to reflect, and keeping moving forward!

Why loving yourself is important, one year later..

This is the Narcissist's Achilles Heel

Male Vs. Female Narcissist..and which one is worse?

Gaslighting is Dangerous, here's why.

Why do we crave people who are toxic?

Covert Vs. Overt... the difference?

Why do narcissist cheat? Who's the real victim?

About the podcast Surviving Narcissism - Narcissist Rehab

Categories