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The Adult Chair

Replay: How Self Validation can change your life

The Adult Chair
The Adult Chair

In my 25 years of practicing as a therapist and holistic life coach, I found that there was one common root cause behind many of the issues my clients were facing: low self-worth. From codependency to difficulty with decisions or boundaries, not having a strong connection with the inner self was often the driving force behind these challenges.

Most of us have a tendency to look outside of ourselves for worth and validation, and building up a strong sense of who we are on the inside takes practice. One of the simplest and most powerful places to start is with self-validation.

Self-validation is when we notice who we are – our actions, thoughts and feelings – and we affirm ourselves. It’s not bragging or comparing ourselves to others but rather speaking truth to ourselves and cheering ourselves on…which not only builds up our sense of self-worth but also leads to healthier relationships as we stop looking to others to validate us.

In this episode, I’m sharing more about the power of self-validation and simple steps for how you can begin a practice of doing this every day. It literally takes seconds to do, and over time, it will change your life!

Listen to discover:

  • What self-validation is and why it’s important
  • The connection between self-validation and self-worth
  • What self-validation looks like in real life
  • Steps to starting a practice of self-validation
  • The difference between self-validation and narcissism or bragging

No one can make us feel or believe something we don’t believe about ourselves. So, if we don’t have a sense of our own self-worth, no amount of validation from others is going to give us what we need. It’s an endless cycle of approval-seeking that never fills us up.

That’s why we have to lay a foundation of self-worth and believe in our own goodness so that when others validate us, we can actually let it land and show up more authentically – as the true self that we know and love.

“Self-validation starts a domino effect to help heal all of these things because self-validation starts to build self-worth.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Self-validation is when we notice what we’re doing or thinking or feeling and we acknowledge it, we own it and then we give ourselves a pat on the back about it.” - Michelle Chalfant

“If you want healthy relationships, start out by self-validating. It is unhealthy for us to rely on external validation.” - Michelle Chalfant

“Self-validation is the healthy way to feel good about self.” - Michelle Chalfant

“When you add that validation that takes seconds, my internal self gets built up, my self-worth gets built up, my sense of self becomes a little bit more positive.” - Michelle Chalfant

“It’s your job to share with others what you need.” - Michelle Chalfant


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