Video Negative Podcast
Video Negative Podcast
We're kicking off 2019 by looking at the film you voted as the worst of last year, it's 2018's "Wikipedia page of a movie" Gotti! We're talking its inability to focus on plot points of any sort, incoherent flip-flopping timelines and the film's weird-as-hell portrayal of amoral murderer Gotti as a beloved folk hero. Also featured: the film's aggro marketing tactics, what it's like in mobster heaven and the results of our mob movie cliche game Bada-bingo are finally revealed! Strap on your concrete shoes and take a trip to the greatest fuckin' city in the world, this one ain't no Godfather!
We're wrapping up the year by unwrapping a real lump of coal with 1997's abominable comedy-horror Jack Frost! We're talking the flagrant false advertising of the front cover, the protagonist's absolute idiot kid of a son, THAT shower scene and all the bizarre "zany" music soundtracking this snowman schlock-fest's death scenes. Also, we reveal the ballot for our Worst of 2018 episode for next year!
We take a trip into the seedy underbelly of 90s filmmaking with the Z-grade trash of 1991's Samurai Cop. If you know, you know but for those unfamiliar with the flick in question, it's 90 minutes of awful dialogue, atrocious editing, sped up car chases and fight scenes and the worst wig you've ever seen in a film! We also touch on the Katana Gang's bad human resources department, why the film seems to be made by 8 year olds, and the plot's bizarre short-term memory, Memento-style case of amnesia.
We venture back into the mad world of erotic thrillers with the dreadfully dull Madonna sex vehicle Body of Evidence! We're talking the film's insistence on dreary courtroom scenes over nudity and intercourse, the hilariously buttoned up depictions of kinky sex, shagging people to death and beaucoup cocaine usage along the way!
In space, no one can hear you explain the plot of this film. You wanted it, you got it! As voted for by the fans, the dubious honour of this year's Halloween special goes to 1997's Event Horizon! We're talking professor Sam Neill's Exposition 101 class, the blatant cherry-picking from other/ better horror films, having to root for the film's cast of unlikable characters, and we somehow end up discussing English footballer Michael Owen and the fact he's only seen eight films in his lifetime.
Narrow the bandwidth, go low-rent! We're jackin' in to the campy 1995 tech thriller Johnny Mnemonic to talk about a future where sideburns don't exist, the internet is a place you can visit and USB sticks seemingly haven't been invented. Also: more dated 90s tech speak, Henry Rollins' acting inability and the John Wick crossover you never knew you didn't want!
We're going green this episode with the eco-friendly ego trip of Comrade Seagal's directorial debut: 1994's On Deadly Ground! We talk its heavy-handed environmentalism, Michael Caine's incredibly wobbly "American" accent and unlock the mystery behind one of Pulp Fiction's greatest mysteries in the process (yes, really!) Also, Seagal behind the scenes and Vid Neg Literary Corner returns, as Dan reads excerpts from the alt-right, anti-immigrant Deep State novel penned by the man himself!
We're back, stepping up to the plate to take on the absolutely criminal, no-joke baseball comedy ED! We're talking director Bill Couterie's background in socio-political war documentaries, the film's obsession with farting, shitting and other bodily functions, the strange placement of race, masturbation and gay panic jokes in this supposed kids' film and a theory that this whole mess actually takes place in an Inception-style dreamscape!
In this episode, we're rampaging all over Roland Emmerich's snooze-fest monster remake, it's 1998's Godzilla! We touch on the film's terrible soundtrack, the total lack of star power, Matthew Broderick-as-leading-man (nope), and the laughable idea that a 300 foot lizard could go missing. Also, irritating comic relief from EVERYONE, and we get flummoxed by the fact no one in New York seems to be all that bothered by a marauding, nuclear-enhanced monster.
Calling all cars! We're back to talk through one of 1992's most infamous shockers and Sylvester Stallone's self-appointed worst film, it's the all-round Oedipal nightmare Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. First at scene of the crime, we're discussing the highly disobedient mother and her ever-increasing rap sheet, the creepiest line we've ever heard on the show, one of the crappiest bad guys in film history, and the story of how Arnie trolled Stallone into signing up to be in this whole mess of a non-movie. Also: an IMDB review reveals that the film's screenwriter didn't even follow his own rules when he penned the script, and we reveal a massive cinema stinker for the next episode!
We're lacing up our newest pair of Air Jordans and dunking on a film we really ought to have done a long time, it's 1996's Space Jam! We discuss director Joe Pytka's Wikipedia page and how he doesn't want people thinking he made this film, the flagrant-rule breaking that occurs during the big game (including people getting shot), the film's obviously padded out runtime, and how absolutely no one is surprised by the appearance of some of the world's most iconic cartoon characters. Also Dan gets confused by Muggsy Bogues, and reveals an absolute stinker of a film for the next episode!
On this installment, we're taking down the ultra-meta, kiddie-film-action-parody mess Last Action Hero! We get into the film's interminably slow pacing, its incongruous references to cop-killing, drug dealers and premature ejaculation, the complete waste of its central concept, and delve into the infamous bomb's troubled production, included a phantom test screening which may or may not have actually happened. Also, we discuss how much better this film would be if it was just Charles Dance correcting everyone's grammar as well as his attempt to assemble a squad of famous movie villains; a late-in-the-film conceit that's woefully mishandled by the movie.
After a long hiatus, we're back with the film you voted for as the worst of 2017, it's the Candy-Crushingly dull, glorified app advert The Emoji Movie! We're running through the intelligence insulting plot, the fact that every beat of the film is explained ad nauseam, crass consumerism and the film's near-obsession with weirdly out of date references to 2006. Expect a total character assassination of TJ Miller while we're at it too!
We're wrapping up 2017 with the mercilessly depressing "kids' film" and decidedly un-Christmas-y Christmas film, it's 1998's Jack Frost. We're talking terrible parenting out the wazoo, the likely shelf-life of Michael Keaton's Christmas-themed band, dispatches from Henry Rollins' spoken word and the film's complete and utter lack of a second act. Don't forget to cast your vote for our Worst Film of 2017 episode after you've listened: http://www.easypolls.net/poll.html?p=5a32cfb2e4b04ebe73dda905
Sequel Season draws to a close with a film considered to be one of the worst of all time, it's 1991's Highlander 2: The Quickening! We're talking its tenuous grasp on the concept of immortality, 16th century television screens and some of the most unbelievably sloppy filmmaking we've seen. Also, Sean Connery gets stuck at an airport, and we investigate #TeamHighlander2 as part of a fanboy's IMDB review. PLUS: It's that time of the year again, we're opening the ballots for our Worst Film of 2017 vote! Make your voice heard here: https://www.poll-maker.com/poll1946802xdFe04C1d-51
Sequel Season is on hold, we're getting in the mood for All Hallow's Eve with our fan-voted Halloween special, it's 1997's Anaconda! We're talking Jon Voight's horrific accent and red t-shirt, the lack of actual horror in this so-called horror film, Owen Wilson's 'wow'-heavy performance, god-awful CGI and - somebody call the fun police - we read out possibly the most humourless IMDB review ever. Plenty of snake-charming and career-harming in this one, settle down and get spooky in time for the 31st!
Jan De Bont's attempt to rock the boat has made us seasick; we're getting to grips with part two of Sequel Season, it's 1997's slow-as-molasses misfire Speed 2: Cruise Control! We're talking Sandra Bullock's lobotomy between this and Speed 1, whether Willem Dafoe makes a good bad guy, the grindingly slow "action" on screen, and UB40's guest appearance as the whole films runs aground with unlikeable characters, dull set-pieces and more VNP Hall of Famers you can shake a stick at. Think worse things have happened at sea? You owe it to yourself to hear us talk through this sequel snoozer.
Reeking of development hell, Sequel Season finally arrives a whole two months after being announced, and what a doozy we're beginning with, it's 1991's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze! We get confused and confounded over which Turtle is which, and talk the film's utterly useless antagonists, Splinter's horny side, endless plot points that go nowhere and the glorious return of Vid Neg alum Vanilla Ice and his on-the-spot improv skills with a line-by-line reading of the majesty that is the Ninja Rap! Also, pro wrestler Kevin Nash's star turn as Super Shredder gets a look in and we reveal the next film as part of the season, one with a whopping 3% on Rotten Tomatoes! Tune in to find out what it is!
The second of this summer's bonus episodes sees Oliver join forces with podcast chums One Good Thing to take on the flash-backing, back-tracking madness of 2006's infamous The Wicker Man! Nic Cages makes an unwelcome return to the show as we interlock the Director's and Theatrical cuts in an attempt to uncover the one good thing about this crappy cult classic. We're talking the films' endlessly useless plot points, complete dearth of terror or suspense, and the somewhat overstated (and overrated) madness of Nic Cage (which makes up about 2% of this hellishly dull retread of a remake).
Tim's on holiday, so Dan and Ol reconvene for this bonus episode to cover songs/music videos from a few films previously featured on the show. Inspired by our friends That Awful Sound, we're talking Aerosmith's I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing (Armageddon), Was Not Was's Walk the Dinosaur (Flintstones & Super Mario Bros) and last but by no means least Smash Mouth's All Star (Inspector Gadget)! Featured within: Richie Sambora's risque facial hair, Was Not Was's hidden anti-nuclear war agenda and of course, the insane All Star renaissance and accompanying memedom surrounding Smash Mouth's most (in)famous song!
TV & Film
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