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Almost Adulting with Violet Benson

Why We Love Unavailable People w/ Mark Groves

Hey Besties! Welcome to the month of LOVE! This month we will be diving into everything relationships so you know what that means…the good, the bad, and the unavoidable ugly

To kick off love month on Almost Adulting Violet is joined by human connection specialist and friend of the show, Mark Groves! Mark is the founder of Create The Love movement and is a self-described ‘emotional translator’. Together the two focus on the painful topic of why so many of us are not only consistently drawn to unavailable people, but spend so much time being caretakers and trying to ‘fix’ them. Violet and Mark then deep dive into the baggage many of us carry and explain how so many of us unknowingly exist in an emotionally dysregulated response state - which may explain an issue or two in your relationship. Besties, we’re kicking off love month strong with things you NEED to be aware of, but it’ll feel good in the end. Can’t have the good without weeding out the bad!


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What to Listen For:

  • 00:00 Introduction
  • 01:04 Why are people emotionally unavailable?
  • 04:03 Signs that tell you’re emotionally unavailable
  • 09:58 Different people bring our different attachment styles
  • 15:34 Dating is not black and white anymore
  • 20:02 You have to learn discernment
  • 22:53 Dating is a sorting process
  • 26:20 Taking the caretaker role
  • 30:04 Dysregulated response state 
  • 36:11 A regulated and secure person
  • 38:19 You need to express your thoughts
  • 42:00 You are the five people closest to you
  • 43:00 Should you stay or leave a relationship?
  • 46:02 Be the creator of your life 
  • 50:02 Venting out or seeking advice?


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Almost Adulting with Violet Benson
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