Join Michael and Indy this week as they go deeper into Michael's history with his family. Indy outlines how we develop a blue print in how we connect and love. We discuss Bowen family systems theory, which helps to describe dynamics in families. Seeing the family as a system, an interconnected network. If we have an attentive mother who is attuned, this has a formative impact. The architecture that forms in our neural pathways can feel secure or anxious, avoidant or disorganised. Michael was born into a family with two older siblings, born in South Africa when there was a lot of crime. Michael's Mum struggled when Michael was born, possibly experiencing post natal depression. Michael did recall that his Mum struggled with three children and to be able to get attention. This meant Michael's mother was preoccupied, maybe that she was not able to be there consistently. Michael recalls blaming himself, he wasn't looking for more connection but rather became more avoidant of attachment figures. He resolved things within himself. This was where he saw security and refuge - an avoidant attachment style. Michael has a tendency to want to resolve things within himself in intimate connection. Michael's predominant connection was with his brother, who often physically over powered him. Michael had to internalize a lot and on top of that had to disengage with his needs to connect. We'd love to hear from you: mail@bdsmreimagined.com Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
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