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Dear Shandy

Open Relationships With Emily Gindlesparger

Dear Shandy
Dear Shandy
Today's Hot Topic dives deep into the world of open relationships! We're joined by author and ghostwriter Emily Gindlesparger, who not only opened her own relationship years ago but discovered her own bisexuality throughout the process. Her new memoir, "Please Make Me Love Me", describes her journey from traditional, straight monogamist to becoming polyamorous with multiple serious girlfriends. Today she shares how she shed her jealousy once and for all, the impact an open relationship had on her primary partnership, the challenges of logistics, and her advice to couples interested in non-monogamy. Emily manages to answer a TON of questions thoughtfully and succinctly, so if you've ever been curious about exploring polyamory—or are just curious how others manage it!—this conversation is for you.

More Emily:
- The Book, "Please Make Me Love Me": https://amzn.to/3Zwrhfz
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilygindle
- Website: https://www.emilygindlesparger.com

Referenced Links And Books:
More Than Two - https://www.morethantwo.com
Esther Perel’s “The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity” - https://amzn.to/3SDhO43
Jessica Fern’s “Polysecure” - https://amzn.to/3ZuwKU5

Time Stamps:
0:00 - Welcome To Emily Gindlesparger!
1:47 - What Do People Most Commonly Ask When They Learn She’s Written A Memoir About Open Relationships And Discovering She’s Queer
3:27 - Was There A Moment Where She Went From Jealous To Non-Jealous
7:06 - Would She Say The More She Leaned Into What Was Making Her Jealous, The Less Jealous She Became
8:16 - Did Jealous Get Flipped On Its Head To Where She Found It Enjoyable
10:43 - What Made Her And Her Partner Decide To Disclose Everything To Each Other (Versus “I Don’t Want To Know”)
14:02 - Did They Ever Fight About This
15:06 - How Much Of Her Decision To Open The Relationship Stemmed From A Desire To Live Life To The Fullest Versus Wanting To Explore Her Sexuality
19:42 - What Does She Think Is The Most Common Misconception About Open Relationships
22:41 - Is It Worth Bringing Up That You Want An Open Relationship If You Know Your Partner Is Deeply Monogamous
24:33 - Does She Believe One-Way Open Relationships Can Work
26:59 - What Advice Would She Give To Someone Whose Partner Wants To Open The Relationship
28:27 - Would She Have Ever Opened Her Relationship Had She Been In A Different Community
30:47 - Is A “Logistical Toll” Part And Parcel With Maintaining Open Relationships
33:06 - What’s Easier: Monogamy Or Polyamory
34:54 - Let’s Say A Couple Wants To Open Things Up—Where To Start
39:43 - When Did She Realize She Wasn’t 100% Straight
43:31 - What Advice Would She Give Her Younger Self On The Topic Of Her Sexuality
45:31 - Does She Consider It A Shame To *Not* Explore One’s Bisexuality
48:32 - Would She And Her Partner Even Open Things Up Again
51:17 - Did She Tell Her Family And If So, Why
54:41 - What Self Work Does She Recommend For Those Contemplating Opening Their Relationship
58:05 - Shandy Debrief 

If you have a relationship question, write us at: dearshandy@gmail.com
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Produced by Gabrielle Galon - https://www.instagram.com/gabsamillion


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