At this stage in the journey it can feel like scary relief not to be actively dealing with a problem or to be constantly taming powerful emotions. After a season being perpetually “on” guard, “on” the lookout, and having to be “on” top of things, it can be unsettling to be able to be “off.” That is what you should begin to experience more and more of in this step; becoming comfortable getting to be “off” again.
Until we are comfortable being “off” duty, we are living in the hyper-vigilant effects of our spouse’s sin. Hyper-vigilance is a common response to a majorly disruptive event like the betrayal of a spouse. In this step we will look at three things.
- Indicators of a New Normal – These items are indicators that your personal recovery and marital restoration (if possible) are nearing a healthy resolution. Remember the conclusion of marital restoration is the beginning of marital enrichment.
- Piecing Together Your New Story – This is the final step in the narrative portion of personal recovery. While your emotions may still rise and fall, at this point the processing of those fluctuations will be a rehearsing of previous steps rather than beginning a new process.
- Preparing for Transition – Part of the scary relief of the perseverance step is moving from a formal study in formal helping relationships back to normal life and discipleship. This section will help you prepare for that transition and minimize the unsettling effects of your marriage “being alone” again (which should not be “alone,” but only relying upon your small group instead of a counseling relationship).
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