Decided to mix it up and drop an episode on Wednesday. It's also my birthday -- so HEY, HEY! A lot of this stuff is still top of mind for me.
With everything going on, wanted to spend some time discussing summer sobriety. For some, the summer is like any other season but I know for me, I was hella social in the summer (birthdays, being out, late nights) so when I got sober I had to shift my expectations on how I thought summers should be.
First, there are no hard and fast rules. These are some of the things that worked for me but like most things when it comes to recovery -- it's not one size fits all.
Being Self Compassionate!
- Y'all know I love me some Self Compassion and I'm still all the way up in that. I leaned all the way into it because I realized there was SO much that I didn't know. While the thought of that would typically feel me with dread -- last summer, I really just embraced it. Surprisingly, it was freeing!
- You are new to all of this. You won't have the answer. Some things you won't even think about until you're in the situation. Totally valid. "You don't know, what you don't know."
Have a Plan!
- Planning is not just for trips or work. I know we all want to go out, turn off minds and have fun but if you're navigating early recovery. PLAN THAT SHIT OUT.
- Some things that I did: brought my own beverages. That way I didn't have to worry about not having something to drink, someone spiking my drink, or accidentally picking up something that had booze in it.
- Another thing: I had someone come with me OR had someone I could call that knew my deal that I could talk to during or after the event. There's no shame in asking for help -- if you need it.
- Also, if it gets old for you. You can change your mind and get the hell out at any time. It can happen before you attend, you know you don't want to go. Back out of it. While you're there? If it gets too much, totally fine to get up and leave. You have to do what is best for you.
Find New Activities!
- Yes, I know we are all creatures of habit on some level. We want to feel like we're part of a group and diversifying out of that can fill us with dread. But friends, going outside your comfort zone and trying something new and proposing it to your social circle can be such a huge benefit! Not just to you but even your friends! You may end up really enjoying something that you would have side-eyed before.
- You may also meet new people at those places and that may be helpful to you too, especially if it's a sober activity.
Just know, you will trip up at times. You will get triggered. It's just life but if you have some tools going into most situations, you can learn to navigate. However, it's normal. There isn't something wrong with you, we all go through it. You will learn (and become stronger) each time.
It's all about what works for you, your health, your mental state, your recovery. Do what you need in order to feel safe.
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