Received a two similar questions so decided to combine and answer for this week's episode.
Should I get sober for other people?
- You know me, I will always say -- there is no hard and fast rules for anything in life. There are always outliers but for my personal viewpoint. I will say NOPE. Sobriety and recovery should always be a choice for you.
- Can you listen to others? Of course. Can they inform your decision? Why not! But it's up to you to decide to pull that trigger and change your life.
- It will impact you the most, you need to understand your why and while others can be a motivation -- if you don't come to want to be sober -- it is so quick to back slide. (Speak from personal experience here.)
But I'm trying to save my relationship?!
- I get that too. If someone matters to us, we want to keep them in our lives. However, changing yourself for someone else's benefit may open you up to bitterness and resentment, if you don't get the reaction you want. Manipulation can come into play HARDCORE here too.
- Also, feelings may change, once you're in recovery. You're going to be rediscovering who you are, what you need versus what you want and you may outgrow people (whether you planned on it or not). Some relationships can weather this, others don't. So, you can't go into recovery with the notion that it's the one thing that will save your relationship.
- You can only save you. You need to keep that in mind and hope for the best with the rest.
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