Getting what you want - asking permission

Modal auxiliaries for permission - Getting what you want

Hi there! Welcome to another fun lesson from New English Academy. I’m your guide, Giles Parker and today we’re going to look at how modal auxiliaries for permission can help you get what you want. The comprehension text talks about a couple of examples of when someone asked for permission in the wrong way and didn’t get what they wanted. This lesson is aimed at intermediate students but as usual there is something here for everyone. Don’t forget to check out our interactive online lessons that go with this podcast at the website newenglishacademy.com. Let us know if you like this by leaving comments and a rating on iTunes or wherever else you downloaded this podcast. Your input helps this get better.

By now, you already know that modals, or helping verbs, help us show things like ability, certainty or permission. Permission means if it is OK to do something, or not OK to do something. Modals also help us be polite to other people. They show the level of formality – that is, how polite we need to be - in a situation. Politeness in any language is important and while you sometimes want to be cool and relaxed, you also want to be appropriate. That means you want to use the right language for the situation. Modals for permission will help you do this.

When you want to ask permission, the general rule is; modal auxiliary + subject + base form of the verb and maybe please. For example:

· Can I leave the room for a minute?

· Could I leave the room for a minute?

· May I leave the room for a minute?

Can is more informal, that means relaxed, while could and may are more polite and more formal.

Did you hear how I asked for permission? My intonation went up at the end. As a yes/no question that is what usually happens.

If you want to be more polite you can add please to either the beginning or the end of a question or between the subject and the verb. For example:

· Please can I leave the room?

Try it with the other positions too.

When you want to give permission, you can say, Yes, you can; or Yes, you may. Or, you can be more relaxed and informal and say Sure; go ahead; of course. But, don’t say Yes, you could.

When you want to refuse or not give permission, you still have to be polite. In English, we’re kind of constipated about a lot of things including when you are refusing something. You have to apologize for not giving permission. And you should really give a reason why you refuse, too. People might think you are rude and impolite and perhaps too direct if you don’t apologize and give a reason. And don’t forget to use the modal as a negative in the response! So, for example;

· Can I leave the room?

· No, I’m sorry, you can’t. You have to stay and finish this meeting with the rest of us.

· May I borrow the car tonight?

· No, sorry, you may not. I need it myself.

When you refuse permission, don’t contract may + not.

If you think that what you are asking for will cause a problem for the other person, you can be even more polite but the answers are back to front. You can use Do you mind if +subject + verb, or Would you mind if + subject + verb. These forms are very polite and useful. But watch out for the responses! For example;

· Do you mind if I leave early today?

· No, of course not.

· Would you mind if I borrowed this book?

· No, not at all, go ahead.

Look at the responses – they start with No. Look at the question again – they ask if someone minds or has a problem with this. So when you’re giving permission the answer is No, I don’t mind even though you mean Yes, it’s OK.

How about refusing permission? Check out this example:

· Mum, do you mind if I stay out late tonight?

· Yes, I do! You have exams tomorrow and you need to rest.

In answering the request for permission, mum says yes but means No. English is fun, isn’t it!

Lastly, requesting permission is a really nice way to offer help to someone. For example, in a shop an assistant says:

· Can I help you?

· Thanks, I’m looking for something for my niece.

So to summarize, modal auxiliaries such as can, could and may + subject + verb said in a rising intonation ask for permission to do something. They show politeness with can being more informal and may being more polite. When you refuse permission don’t forget to apologize for this and give a reason why you refuse. When you want to be very polite use Do you mind if + subject + verb and watch out for the response – it is No, I don’t mind for yes.

OK – now we’re going to look at a couple of examples where someone used a modal auxiliary and didn’t get what she wanted. As always, listen or read and check how many examples of this grammar focus you can find. Good luck!

Comprehension Text: Getting what you want

Some American grade school teachers (and other cruel people) often make a joke when someone wants to use the restroom. Imagine the scene: In an elementary school maths lesson, 6 year old Javier wants to go to the bathroom really quickly. Following the rules of the classroom, he puts up his hand and asks “Please Miss, can I use the washroom?” But the teacher isn’t in a good mood and replies to desperate Javier, “I don’t know. Can you use the washroom? Can you go on your own? Are you old enough? Don’t you want someone to go with you?”

The teacher thinks she is being funny, as do some of the other kids in the class probably, but poor Javier is embarrassed and confused - the same as some of the other kids. What is the teacher trying to make a joke of here? Javier appropriately said ‘Can I use the washroom?’ He was asking for permission, asking to be allowed to do something. But the teacher pretended Javier was asking about his ability to do something. Ha ha…very good joke, teacher!

This little word can has a couple of different meanings, and can (ha!) be the difference between you getting to the bathroom in time and you being embarrassed in front of the other kids and hating maths. In grammatical language, can and other little words that show politeness, or ability, or certainty, etc, are called modal auxiliaries. They change the colour or tone of the main verb. They help you do what you want to do. You want to go to the bathroom? Try ‘May I go to the bathroom?’ No chance for a joke response from the teacher there.

Another little story from a cross-cultural perspective shows how modal auxiliaries can help you get what you want. Mrs Penelope Farnham enjoys her work as the receptionist in the library of a busy pre-university English language school in Australia. She likes meeting and working with the students who come from all over the world. She often has to answer questions and lend out books. However, she does get a bit frustrated sometimes when a student is too direct and doesn’t mind her p’s and q‘s. Politeness is very important to Mrs Farnham and she likes to be treated with respect by everyone but it doesn’t always happen.

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The other day a student wanted to borrow some materials to help her apply to a university. However, the student didn’t exactly ask politely for permission to borrow the books. She said ‘You can lend me these, yeah? And this and this? I’ll bring them back when I’m done.’ Well, Mrs Farnham wasn’t too happy with the way the student asked for the books. It wasn’t really asking for permission, more like checking something was correct or not and so she replied that unfortunately those particular books were not for lending at this moment in time. The student left feeling frustrated, without getting the information she wanted. Mrs Farnham also went home feeling frustrated. She wanted to help the student but she wanted a bit of respect too. All this because a student didn’t yet know how to use modal auxiliaries to be polite. What would you say to get permission to borrow the books?