Fables Without Morals

He is angry. He is German. He has foam weaponry. And he is completely fed up with American live-action role-players (Larpers) not taking this thing seriously. I often display the same level of frustration whenever Jesse describes how adorable his...

And now, a word form our sponsor... Download Shiny Things -HBD

I’ve often been accused of selfishness, egotism, hypocrisy, stealing change, encouraging prostitution, unreliability, inappropriate displays of wit, sleeplessness, liking hockey, yelling at imprudent times and targets, shoplifting fantasy novels, cheapness, locking myself out of my own bathroom, lateness, anti-Semitism, loquaciousness,...

Due to the holiday I will be dedicating most of my time to binge-eating, holiday shopping and napping (in no particular order and often simultaneously). So, following the lead of Mr. Ackles, I won't be posting anything of my own...

It’s been a long road for Joel Ropesman. A long, excruciating, improbable road. Joel’s is a journey beset by hardship. By confusion. By disfigurement. And by huge swarms of monstrous insects. Join us for the conclusion of Joel’s exciting journey...

This is an old favorite of mine. From the Coldwater Daily Reporter in Michigan, an op-ed piece I came across while working for Balthazar last year. -JRA Coldwater, Mich. To the Editor: Some of Bush’s oil friends want to rent...

Fables Without Morals

Hello, listener. Welcome (back?) to Hear Be Dragons. My name’s Zack. If this were a legitimate podcast with even a smidgen of merit or credibility, my position would be what is commonly referred to as “producer”, but enough with the...

Greetings there, shitbirds – This here blog entry may not be cohesive with respect to the preceding posts. You see, I didn’t even get through Jesse’s demonstration, er, experimentation, ummm, provocation from the other day. We’re trying to make things...

I moved to Logan Square from Humboldt Park this weekend. One advantage to the timing of this was that it was Halloween, and as anyone in Chicago knows, holidays last an average of about a week here. Think St Patrick’s,...

While I was writing this, my demented grandmother, who lives in Ann Arbor, took a bus here to Chicago. My mom called me around midnight to tell me that someone called her from the bus station to tell her that...

Good morrow, dear listener and reader. As a new dawn approaches at Here Be Dragons, one that will hopefully bear tastier fruit than our previous incarnations, I would like to take a moment to address a few concerns you may...

H. B. D. Three consonants of such variety of articulation as to be nearly unrecognizable as family, like distant cousins dissimilar in every aspect but their handedness or preference for bolo ties. The first with its airy, ephemeral expression in...

If there has ever been a position in all of professional sports where egocentric, outlandish and sometimes insubordinate behavior has become not only emblematic but the determining factor of your popularity it is that of the NFL wide receiver. A...

Things just aren’t getting any better for Joel Ropesman. If you thought eyeball-gouging dairy cows were bad, imagine what a bunch of ducks and geese can do. Episode 2 in the saga of the Man from Anglo. Download Worse Than...

Dear listener, We’ve been away for awhile. We’ve neglected you. Our usual incompetence isn’t solely to blame this time, however. You see, we were busy throwing an uncle party, and you know how uncle parties go. You tell a couple...

(No, this has nothing to do with Bill Clinton’s autobiography, though it has turned out to be nearly as long. Oh, and those actors Zack mentioned in his last post? Don’t know a one.) Whenever Jesse calls, we exchange pleasantries...

Have you ever played the sympathy card to get a woman into bed? Does it still weigh on your conscience? Well, you’re about to feel way better about yourself. Download A Terrible, Terrible Man -HBD

Fret not, little ones. A brand new Producer's Corner is on its way. But first, there are more pressing issues to address, like game 6 of the World Series. In the meantime, enjoy Mr. Brett's pre-game banter. -Zack