Welcome to this week’s episode of the Hidden Potential Podcast! In this episode, your host Sarah Saffari talks with Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman. Jocelyn and Aaron are relationship coaches and here they share some interesting insights on how to deal with relationship conflicts, how to manage your feelings and your partner’s in order to solve problems, and how not to damage the relationship once the disagreement shows up.
“What we always encourage people to look at first is: How long your argument hangover lasts, meaning, how long does it take you to repair afterwards? Because that can also be a big part of what leads to disconnection and, perhaps even the end of the relationship.” – Jocelyn Freeman
Having boundaries and being engaged in the relationship is fundamental to preserve the connection. Repeating selfish behaviors and not talking, on the other hand, is nothing but damaging. It’s also really important to be flexible, caring, adjust your needs to meet your partner’s, communicate, and try to solve the conflict no matter what.
“When our partners are triggered or just have emotion coming up, they’re often sharing about themselves, and so we tend to shut down. […] When you just shut down and say nothing, that creates that separation, that creates that feeling of isolation.” – Aaron Freeman
Jocelyn and Aaron also explain the 4 communication-personality types. Being an assertive partner puts you on the front line, trying to lead the way; being a reserved one categorizes you on the quiet side of things, really needing time to process the conflicts. In both cases, it’s important to hear your partner’s perspective first so he/she doesn’t feel judged by your own;
About Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman
Known as the “couple that coaches couples”, Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman started their business by recognizing that their own relationship could be of service to others. Authors of “The Argument Hangover” and “The New Power Couple”, the Freeman’s help people to break relationships barriers by dialogue, conversation and teamwork.
[02:17] – How Jocelyn and Aaron started the relationship coaching business;
[04:19] – What is the idea behind “relationships hangover”?
[07:33] – The 4 communication-personality types (Assertive and Reserved);
[13:57] – What to do when we don’t have the answers for the conflict;
[20:52] – Why it’s important to know what triggers us;
[24:31] – How our parents’ relationship affects our own;
[29:51] – Being aware of our behavior is tiring but important;
[32:22] – How to identify if a conflict is healthy or not;
[35:52] – How much time is enough time to repair conflicts?
[39:24] – Feeling the emotions is an opportunity to connect with your partner;
[42:51] – Don’t be discouraged if you have conflicts, take action;
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