Dr. JJ Kelly is a clinical psychologist, best selling author, emotional intelligence skills training expert, CEO & founder of UnthoroDocs. On this episode, we interview Dr. Kelly about the top reasons why today's kids are so stressed, what schools and parents could do to decrease stress, and how to incorporate effective coping skills. We also discuss why today's current mental healthcare and school systems are ineffective to treat today's youth. Lizz and Mariah share how they use identifying and aligning values to increase and decrease specific behaviors.  Connect with Us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidnt@gmail.com  Connect with Dr. Kelly Instagram: @drjjkelly YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLWVu-64eiNvhsV56y4jC4g Website: https://www.drjjkelly.com/ Connect with Dr. Lizz Dexter-Mazza Instagram: @dbtinschools Website: https://www.dbtinschools.com/ Connect with Mariah Covington Instagram: @mariahcdbt

Data shows that about 50% of marriages end in divorce. This means that 50% of our student population is experiencing, have, or will experience a significant shift in their family dynamics. On this episode, we talk to Tracy Callahan best-selling author, founder of the Split Society, and certified Divorce Coach on how schools can effectively connect and communicate with students of separated parents. Tracy drives home the point that "children experience divorce in the eyes of their parents" and that while conflict is inevitable it is also an opportunity. Tracy provides practical ways how schools can best support students and parents of separation. Connect with Us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Connect with Tracy Callahan Facebook: The Split Society Instagram: @thesplitsociety Connect with Dr. Lizz Dexter-Mazza Instagram: @dbtinschools Email: lizz@dbtinschools.com Website: dbtinschools.com Connect with Mariah Instagram: @mariahcdbt

On this episode, we interview Christi Venable, NCC, LPC. Christi is a Licensed Professional Counselor and founder of Smile Therapy Services, LLC. Smile provides mental health services for the community and schools. Christi shares both the pros and cons of being a mental healthcare provider as an outside contractor and how Smile is working to fill the gap that schools desperately need. Christi speaks candidly about how schools can financially compensate contracted mental health services, strategies to promote school staff wellness, and trends she and her staff have noticed since returning from the pandemic.  Connect with us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Connect with Lizz: Instagram: @dbtinschools Email: lizz@dbtinschools.com Website: dbtinschools.com Connect with Christi Instagram: @smilesetherapyllc Website: https://www.smiletherapyservices.com/ Email: info@smiletherapyservices.com

On this episode, we interview Aimee Buckley who is the founder of Study Help and veteran public school teacher. Study Help is an online platform that connects top quality teachers with students who are looking for a better understanding of their academic skills. We discuss how teachers can  build motivation with their students, how school counselors can support teachers in the classroom, and what she skill every student should know before graduating. Aimee also shares how as a special education student what strategies she uses for students who have emotional difficulties. Connect with Us Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Connect with Liz Email: lizz@dbtinschools.com Website: www.dbtinschools.com Instagram: @dbtinschools Connect with Aimee Buckley Email: aimee.buckley@study.help Website: study.help Instagram: @study.help.inc

On this episode, we interview Dr. Jeannine Jannot child and developmental psychologist, college professor, mother of three, and author of The Disintegrating Student: Struggling but Smart and Falling Apart: And How to Turn it Around. She speaks candidly about how we can build motivation within our students and children and move away from the fixed mindset. Dr. Jannot discusses how to remedy the tension between pushing for academic achievement by giving our children a sense of control and allowing them to make mistakes without immediately intervening. This show is also packed with tangible ways on how to build a habit with your child or student.  Dr. Jeannine Jannot Website: https://www.jeanninejannot.com/about Book: The Disintegrating Student: Interview with Dr. Jeannine Jannot Instagram: @jjanot Connect with us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Learn more about DBT in schools: Website: dbtinschools.com Instagram: @dbtinschools Email: lizz@dbtinschools.com

As schools have reopened, activities have restarted, and the holidays are almost upon us some of us are realizing that overarching feeling of burnout might also be back. On this episode, we talk about the importance of self-care, how school staff can incorporate it into their day, and actionable steps schools can do to decrease staff burnout. We always hear "catch burn out before it is too late" but what do we do when we are already there? This episode is great for all of our staff, parents, and students who are counting down the days, hours, minutes, and even seconds until the Thanksgiving break. Connect with Us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Learn more about DBT STEPS A in schools: Website: dbtinschools.com Instagram: @dbtinschools

In the United States, more than 7.8 million students qualify for Special Education services (ages 3- 21) during the 2018 to 2019 school year. This number is around 14% of all public school students. However, depending on your population, location, or school setting this number can climb much higher or decrease. In addition, with early detection, special education services have increased tremendously in the school setting since the 1970's. On this episode Lizz and Mariah discuss IEP's (Individual Education Plan) in schools. We outline what parents need to know if their child is found eligible for an IEP, how schools can use their SEL (social emotional learning) programs to meet IEP goals, and how counselors can write measurable goals to meet their students needs. We also talk about how to encourage students to become an active participant in their IEP process to remove the stigma. This will be a great listen for our parents, teachers, clinicians, school administrators, and students who want to learn more about IEPs and the connection between mental health. We understand that we can help to erase the stigma of IEP's by providing information to the general public. Source: National Center for Education Statistics Connect with us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Learn more about DBT STEPS-A www.dbtinschools.com lizz@dbtinschools.com

On this episode, Dr. Lizz Dexter-Mazza and Mariah Covington speak about how to effectively self disclose to our students, children, and colleagues. We share tips on how to model self-disclosure without oversharing or inadvertently invalidating the person's experience. Conversely, we provide examples on how to decrease some children and adolescents tendency to overshare.  Connect with us Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Facebook: howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com More on DBT in Schools: Instagram: @dbtinschools Website: dbtinschools.com Email: lizz@dbtinschools.com

On this episode, we interview Dr. Carlene Reid. Dr. Reid is a Speech & Language Pathologist, representative for the State Board of Education (Washington DC, Ward 8), and full-time federal employee. Dr. Reid has evaluated over 300 students to determine the need for special education services. We interview Dr. Reid regarding the signs to look for if a referral to a speech & language services are needed, how the field has changed due to the pandemic, and how SLP's function in schools. Dr. Reid also speaks passionately about the requirements of the school when parents or staff make speech referrals and how parents can support their child's needs. Dr. Reid provided us with the important message to all our listeners of "don't wait, if you see something make the referral!" Connect with us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Learn more about DBT STEPS A in Schools: Instagram: @dbtinschools Dr. Lizz Dexter-Mazza: @drlizzdm Website: dbtinschools.com

As we progress through the school year, practices, activities, sports, games, etc. have made a return. During the pandemic, our everyday lives came to an abrupt halt and forced us ALL to realize just how busy we were. Now that activities are seemingly resuming in most states, how do we find the balance between engaging in enough activities and intentional "downtime"? On today's show we discuss activities families and schools can do to assess their schedules and specific activities and skills schools and counselors can reinforce to most effectively support their students. We talk through how to encourage a student to engage in activities when they are explicitly aversive. Connect with us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Learn more about DBT STEPS A in schools: Instagram: @dbtinschools Email: lizz@dbtinschools.com Website: dbtinschools.com

The National Association of School Psychologist (NASP) recently released an article entitled "School Reentry Considerations: Supporting Student Social and Emotional Learning and Mental and Behavior Health Amidst Covid-19." Lizz & Mariah do a deep dive into the article and the importance of making SEL a top priority and part of the school day for ALL staff. We provide recommendations on how schools can incorporate a multi-disciplinary approach when  it comes to providing mental health services and move upstream where schools aren't waiting for a student to fail to a where point they must seek outside treatment.  We know that providing mental health in school is a heavy lift and we also know how difficult it is to educate a child who is experiencing emotional difficulties. We advocate strongly for every adult that interacts with students at schools to understand, teach, and model social and emotional well-being in all that they do. Article: https://www.nasponline.org/x55418.xml Connect with Us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Learn more about DBT STEPS-A in schools: Instagram: @dbtinschools Twitter: @dbtinschools Website www.dbtinschools.com

We are back!!! As schools return for the 2021-2022 school year, there is a spectrum of emotions we all may be experiencing; ranging from anxiety to excitement to fear and sometimes all of them at once. Dr. Lizz Dexter-Mazza and Mariah Covington discuss how to emotionally prepare your students and staff for this upcoming school year (whatever that will look like). Lizz and Mariah also review what it means to be non-judgmental, why it is important to teach it to our children and staff, and offer a step by step exercise on how to teach taking a non-judgmental stance that you can do in your home or classroom today. Connect with us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Facebook: How Come They Didn't podcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Website dbtinschools.com

Code switching has become a word popularized in the decade. Originally, code switching was defined by the ability to switch back and forth between two different languages. Presently, code switching has transformed into using specific wording, vernacular, or phrases depending on context or environment. On today's episode, we discuss why it is important to teach code switching to our children. We consider about how to generalize the skill of using code switching, how to integrate code switching into your SEL program, and provide specific examples to use in your lesson plan. We also examine the cultural context of code switching and how it has been used to assimilate to the dominant culture out of fear of being judged. Mariah discussed how she taught this lesson to her students and Lizz speaks about how she continually teachers her children how to code switch.   Article by Ida Harris: https://www.yesmagazine.org/opinion/2019/12/17/culture-code-switching Connect with us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidnptpodcast@gmail.com Website: https://www.dbtinschools.com/

On this episode, we discuss transitioning from virtual to hybrid or in person as schools and families. We  talk about some of the trends we seen in the behaviors of our students and children now that most have returned back to in person learning. We also discuss specific skills that teach our students (and adults) how to effectively cope with our changing environment. Follow Us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Website: https://www.dbtinschools.com/

Our children and students have experienced a global pandemic, quarantine, distance learning, grief, and loss at an unprecedented level. Given this year's circumstances, incorporating SEL during your school day is no longer optional. As schools are completing their schedule for next year the conversation of SEL (social emotional learning) is most likely emerging or reemerging. Schools are now forced to reimagine their role on educating the whole child, which includes emotional well-being. On this episode, we interview Dr. Jim Mazza and he discusses the benefits of SEL, different SEL programs available, and how to incorporate the skills throughout the school building. Mariah also discusses the barriers to implementing the SEL program at her school and what she used to gain buy in from both students and staff. Connect with us Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Website: https://www.dbtinschools.com/

Death by suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in America. For those between ages 10 to 34 it is the second leading cause of death. In 2019, there were over 1 million attempts at suicide. Suicide is considered a public health issue. Due to the pandemic, we expect these numbers to increase. In this episode, we discuss concrete steps and questions to ask when someone reveals to you that they are thinking about suicide. We also talk about how you can take steps at home to start the conversation. Statistics: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide.shtml Contact/Follow Us Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Website: https://www.dbtinschools.com/

On this episode, we interview Kendra Barnes. Kendra Barnes is a full-time Real Estate Investor and founder of The Key Resource. Her real estate investments afforded her the ability to retire from the 9-5 life at the age of 32. She created The Key Resource to inspire, empower and educate people about the power of home ownership and Real Estate investment.   Kendra speaks candidly about the skills she has learned over the years, the sacrifices she made, her mistakes, and how she recently had to show vulnerability in her personal life for more support. Kendra, Lizz & Mariah all discuss their struggles with perfection, comparisons, and what intentional steps they have taken (and are still taking) to overcome the desire for perfection.  Kendra embodies the spirit and mantra of the "How Come They Didn't Team Me That in School?" podcast by sharing her knowledge across multiple platforms through online courses, her blog, social media, and newsletter.     Contact Kendra  Website: https://thekeyresource.com/ Instagram: @thekeyresource  Follow Us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast  Email: howcometheydidnt@gmail.com  Website: https://www.dbtinschools.com/

On this episode, we interview Matthew Brooks, Registered Art Therapist. He helps us understand the effectiveness of art therapy and how he uses it with people who have experienced trauma and in a private practice. Matthew also answers the questions many parents and teachers have what do I do when my child creates a disturbing image? Lastly, Matthew explains the specific training and education art therapist have. Listen in for this informative episode. Connect with Matthew Brooks: Instagram: @matthew.brooks.atr Email: matthew@artalexandriaarthterapy.com Website: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/matthew-brooks-alexandria-va/778325 Connect with us:  Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast  Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Website: https://www.dbtinschools.com/

There are many different terms for mental health staff, especially in schools. Sometimes we get bombarded by commas after names, titles, positions leaving us even more confused on how these roles are designed to help our students and children. On today's episode, we interview Dr. Jim Mazza Licensed Psychologist and Professor at the University of Washington. He provides a detailed definition of a School Psychologist, their educational training, and what their role is as school staff. We also discuss the differences between an MA, EdS, PhD, and PsyD.    In addition, we answer the question of what is the difference between a social worker and a psychologist? Please tune in for this insightful and informative episode.    Connect with us:  Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com    Website: https://www.dbtinschools.com/

We understand that times have changed and behaviors students/adolescence are engaging in are very different than what we experienced at their age. Sometimes these generational differences make it difficult to to distinguish between if the behavior is typical for their age group or cause for concern. On this episode, Lizz & Mariah cover commonly asked subject matters. We provide targeted questions to ask in regards to your student or adolescent to determine if further action is necessary or if the behaviors are typical for their age group and location. We cover the topics of technology use, sleep, substance use, and sexual intercourse.   Lizz and Mariah encourage you to talk to your children and students early and often about behaviors they might or will experience in the future (sex, substances, sleep issues.) This will help to prepare them to make effective decisions when these situations arise as they mature.    All of the data that we shared during this episode was sourced from the CDC Youth Risk Behavior Survey. This data was used from the 2017 and 2019. We encourage to look up your data by your local area, as it may differ dramatically than the national averages. Link to survey: https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/data/yrbs/index.htm Connect with us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodacst Email: @howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Website: https://www.dbtinschools.com/