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Huberman Lab

Science of Social Bonding in Family, Friendship & Romantic Love


This episode I discuss the science of social bonding- the process by which we form attachments. I explain the neural and hormonal basis for "social homeostasis" (our drive for a given amount of socializing) which reveals why we get lonely, why we seek out connection with others and how power dynamics (hierarchies) shape those connections. I also discuss the neurochemical basis of introversion and extroversion, of trust and how shared experiences that promote similar physiological states in two or more individuals, leads to more rapid bonding. I also discuss how food and oxytocin play key roles in social bonding. This episode covers quality peer-reviewed science and practical tools for anyone seeking to find, build or end relationships.

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  • 00:00:00 Social Bonding: Child-Parent, Romantic, Friendship, Breakups
  • 00:02:55 ROKA, Athletic Greens, Headspace
  • 00:07:08 Social Bonding as a Biological Process
  • 00:10:03 Social Isolation
  • 00:13:32 Social Homeostasis & Neural Circuits for Social Drive
  • 00:18:55 Brain Areas & (Neuro)Chemistry of Social Drive
  • 00:22:48 What is Social Homeostasis & Dopamine
  • 00:27:00 When We Lack Social Interactions: Short- Versus Long-Term
  • 00:28:10 Introverts & Extroverts
  • 00:31:00 “Good” Versus “Bad” Social Interactions & Hierarchies
  • 00:33:54 Loneliness & Dorsal Raphe Nucleus & Social Hunger
  • 00:37:33 Tools
  • 00:38:05 Socializing & Food Appetite: Crossover Craving
  • 00:42:45 Falling in Love
  • 00:45:05 Tools for Social Bonds: Merging Physiologies; Story
  • 00:53:54 Childhood Attachment Patterns in Adulthood
  • 01:03:45 Attachment Styles: Autonomic Versus Intellectual Attachment
  • 01:06:10 Emotional Empathy & Cognitive Empathy, Arguing
  • 01:09:45 Allan N. Schore & “Right Brain Psychotherapy”
  • 01:10:40 Oxytocin & Trust, In Males Versus Females, Hormonal Glue
  • 01:16:10 Repairing Broken Bonds to Self & Others
  • 01:18:56 Social (Media) Butterflies: Biological Basis
  • 01:24:08 Key Points for Bonding & Understanding Social Bonds
  • 01:27:07 Breaking Up
  • 01:28:36 Synthesis
  • 01:31:17 Zero-Cost Support, Sponsors, Patreon, Thorne, Instagram, Twitter

Please note that The Huberman Lab Podcast is distinct from Dr. Huberman's teaching and research roles at Stanford University School of Medicine. The information provided in this show is not medical advice, nor should it be taken or applied as a replacement for medical advice. The Huberman Lab Podcast, its employees, guests and affiliates assume no liability for the application of the information discussed.

Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac - https://www.blabacphoto.com