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by Brittany Hockley and Laura Byrne
Life Uncut

BACHETTE UNCUT - We riot for Konrad


Strap yourselves in because this week is an old-school bachette marathon session - that’s right, three episodes in one week ! Holly gets the first single date and she’s making bracelets with Brooke - it’s sweet and lovely and the bracelets are totally gorg. Would you believe me if I said there was no dancing on this date? Sad but true. For the group date - Osher meets the remaining contestants in the park with a bunch of random kids and some toys from Kmart. I know they’ve had budget cuts but CMON!!! Now it’s the final cocktail party and is competing for the last remaining singe date. Holly gives Brooke a lock of hair, Jamie-Lee writes her another love letter, Darvid gives her an old receipt he found in his wallet and Konrad buys her a new pony. Then, who does she pick…? That’s right - the Persian Prince. We then say goodbye to Luca and Will - INTRUDERS NEVER WIN!
The next episode kicks off with a group date and we’re being treated with some life drawing, however the key is capturing what Brooke represents (we’re getting deep). The concept sounds lovely but it’s really just 15 min of people drawing in silence - fun times! Konrad absolutely crushes it, and his picture is so beautiful it makes Brooke burst into tears. The only problem is - he tells her that working 9-5 is for losers and he wants to become Australia’s biggest influencer. It’s time for Darvid’s single date with Brooke and they’re making wine with their feet because Brooke has a mean foot fetish that needs quenching. Brooke then makes everyone go to the cocktail party barefoot because Darvid’s feet weren't enough - Millie was sent home because she had tinea and Kurt left because he had an ingrown nail.
HOMETOWNS BABY! Without question, the highlight of this episode was Konrad’s dad. In fact, he was the highlight of the entire season. Imagine an older, quirkier, and more sensitive version of Konrad. Absolute heaven! Jamie Lee is up next and she has a shocker and gives Brooke a high-five instead of telling her she’s falling in love. Darvid made Brooke meet his mum who said she’d physically hurt anyone who made her son move away from Brisbane. Holly’s wasn’t much better and her mum told Brooke that her daughter hates kids and WA. Brooke’s so confused by all of this that she sends home the one shining light from this season…. WE MISS YOU ALREADY KONRAD !


Episode 192

by Brittany Hockley and Laura Byrne