Episode 50: Pope Fight, Monkeypox, & The Taco Bell Shortage

Kathleen opens the show drinking an AceBall Lager by Hop Valley Brewing, which is the official beer of the Reno Aces baseball team. She then tells the Termites about her weekend in Reno for her first show back since the start of the pandemic and gives the “Biggest Little City” a great review as it reminds her of what Vegas used to be. She can’t wait to go back for some more exploring.

TERMITE SHOUTOUTS: Kathleen is thrilled to go through mail from the PO box, thanking Termite Anne for her Ranch bottle Christmas ornament, which she’s excited to hang on her tree. Janet from Minneapolis sent a cool and hilarious Ranch-inspired hair scrunchie, which makes Kathleen laugh when she reminds the Termites about the scrunchie theme in a Season 2 episode of one of Kathleen’s favorite shows, “Jann.” Finally, Kathleen laughs out loud when she opens a solar yard termite from Becky from Indiana, which she can’t wait to add to her yard. 

UPDATE ON KATHLEEN’S QUEEN’S COURT: Kathleen provides an update on the Queens, sending love and good wishes to Tanya Tucker to recover from her recent hip surgery. Cher continues to actively support the #FreeBritney movement on Twitter, and Super Queen Dolly dressed up as a vintage Playboy bunny and had her picture taken as a gift for her husband Carl’s 75th birthday.  

“GOOD BAD FOOD”: In her quest for new and delicious not-so-nutritious junk food AND in continuing her search for the best Ranch, Kathleen samples Walden Farms Calorie Free Ranch dressing, which was a gift at Kathleen’s Reno show from a worthy Termite. She then tastes Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cinnadust seasoning, which she’s certain that her mom will love on her toast and ice cream. She finishes her tasting with Dorito’s Ketchup chips from Canada, and she and Paddles both agree that the original Taco Doritos are the best. 

CALIFORNIA GENDER REVEAL INDICTMENT: Kathleen reads an article from California where a couple has been criminally charged for their role in igniting last year’s destructive El Dorado wildfire after they used a pyrotechnic device during a gender-reveal party. The blaze destroyed immense property and claimed the life of a local firefighter. The Jimenez’s were indicted for 30 crimes including involuntary manslaughter and currently await their court date. 

BRITNEY VS JAIME LYNN SPEARS CONTINUES: As an UPDATE to Kathleen’s ongoing reporting on the #FreeBritney movement, she reads the latest sparring between Britney Spears and her younger sister, Jamie Lynn. During Britney’s conservatorship hearings, Jamie Lynn claimed she never took any of the singer’s money, but it has been revealed that the $1M Destin condo that she has laid claim to over the years doesn’t actually belong to her at all. The sisters then sparred on social media, with Kathleen providing her own commentary on sibling rivalry and “the Disney children.” 

THE MOST EXPENSIVE PENTHOUSE IN NYC: Kathleen laughs as she reads an article announcing that the penthouse of the residential building located at 432 Park Avenue has been listed for $169 million. The 8,225-square-foot space features six bedrooms and nine bathrooms with 360 deg views of Manhattan and Central Park. 

MONKEYPOX ARRIVES IN DALLAS: Kathleen squeals when reading an article advising that the rare Monkeypox virus has been detected in Dallas after a Texan returned from Nigeria and possibly spread the disease to 200 additional people on his flight home. Kathleen describes the blisters that are a symptom of Monkeypox to Shingles since her mom is always commenting on how horrific Shingles symptoms can be. Kathleen then tells the story about getting her first Shingles shot, and how she thought she would have to get one every year based on the number of signs that decorate Florida pharmacies every year. 

$400K LUXURY CRUISE SELLS OUT IN HOURS: Kathleen laughs when she reads an update from luxury line Regent Seven Seas Cruises that a newly routed around-the-world voyage aimed at wealthy travelers — cabins cost up to $399,998 for two — sold-out on in just 2.5 hours, which is the fastest that any world cruise has ever sold out, the company said. The cruise will dock on all 5 continents and will set sail in January 2024. Kathleen tells the Termites about her own cruise experiences as a part of Lewis Black’s Comedy Cruise, and one occasion when she and Lew were almost left in a port when their margarita time ran long, partially explained in her bits “Cruise Ship, Day 1” and “Cruise Ship, Day 2” from her Madigan Again album.  

DaVINCI’s 14 DESCENDANTS: Kathleen is thrilled to read an article announcing that 14 people currently alive and living in Italy can that they are descendants of Leonardo da Vinci, according to a study of the Renaissance genius' family tree. Researchers traced da Vinci's genealogy over nearly 700 years and 21 generations, from 1331 to the present day, beginning with da Vinci's great-great-great-grandfather Michele. Kathleen laughs as she muses what it must be like to find out that you are a part of DaVinci’s lineage if you are living a completely basic life. 

RARE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE SOLD: Kathleen reads a news release announcing that a rare parchment engraving of the Declaration of Independence, ordered up by John Quincy Adams two centuries ago and found in the attic of an ancestral Scottish house, sold recently at Freeman’s auction house in Philadelphia at a near-record $4.4 million to an anonymous buyer.

TACO BELL SHORTAGE: As Termites know, Kathleen’s favorite fast food restaurant is Taco Bell and she’s dismayed to read an article summarizing anecdotal reports on social media that Taco Bell is the latest to be impacted by supply chain issues. Basic (and necessary) items that may be temporarily unavailable have included their hot sauce, chicken, beef, lettuce, tomatoes, and even tortillas. Kathleen can’t wait to see what creations the menu fairies at Taco Bell come up with to serve in the meantime when she believes that there are less than 10 standard ingredients that make up the entire menu as it currently stands. Stay tuned…

POPE FIGHT: Kathleen laughs as she reads an announcement that Pope Francis has cracked down on the spread of the old Latin Mass, reversing one of Pope Benedict XVI’s signature decisions in a major challenge to traditionalist Catholics who immediately decried it as an attack on them and the ancient liturgy. Pope Francis is a renowned revolutionary, attempting to move the Catholic Church forward to gain new membership while preserving the essence of tradition. What she finds extremely amusing is that many of the decisions being reviewed involve the methodology of his predecessor Benedict XVI, who is still alive to witness the unraveling.  

DEMONIC TEXTING: Kathleen laughs as she reads a recent article advising that exorcisms are on the rise since demons now haunt victims by text. American exorcist Monsignor Stephen Rossetti claims that demons are tech-savvy, and send text messages to their victims which expands their opportunity to impact victims as almost everyone has a cell phone.  

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