When you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with someone, it can feel quite challenging to bring two very different people together and have them work towards one common path. Sprinkle in multi-cultural and interfaith differences and you can quickly see how planning a wedding to meet these various needs might make you feel like you’re on a lone island.
Christy and Michelle have the pleasure of connecting with Lara Wagner and Amer Ahmad, a married couple with beautifully diverse backgrounds. Lara had the satisfaction of growing up in the American South as a Unitarian Universalist, a liberal religion characterized by a free and responsible search for meaning, which she credits to providing her with the open mindedness to marrying someone from a different religious background.
On the other side of the couple coin is Amer, whose family is from Pakistan but grew up in South Carolina practicing Islam. These two join the show today to talk about how they met, their two wedding ceremonies and meeting their parents' conditions of attending pre-marital counseling. Listen in and learn how Lara and Amer came together in blended bliss.
There was so little easily accessible information about what a blended wedding looked like when they were planning their wedding.
Their parents’ condition was that they went to pre-marital counseling.
While they originally wanted a fusion wedding, it wasn’t possible. In the end, there were 3 days of celebrations that incorporated both cultures. They were very intentional about food and drink, bringing both cultures in on each day.
The easiest way to fuse things is FOOD.
When starting to plan a blended wedding, it could be amazingly helpful to speak to your parents/family about what the non-negotiables are from each side. What are the expectations?
Know that there will be challenges, ultimately do the things that bring joy to you and your most important loved ones.
Lara and Amer were able to incorporate parts of their own family traditions and experience new things together.
Links We Referenced
“I don’t want to say I felt alone, because I had a lot of incredible people go on the journey with us. But when I reached out for different inspiration, and was wondering, ‘is it normal to have a number of outfit changes?’ ‘Will my white family understand this spicy food?’ Things like that, I didn’t have any answers to those questions.” - Lara
“If it is fusion, it is a compromise on many different levels. If it’s going to be one day, it’s not a compromise, it’s a western wedding.” - Lara
“We just realized, we’re going to make everyone kind of happy. And then that’s going to make us very happy.” - Lara “And that gets back to that being a stressor, everyone had very different expectations about what the size of the wedding should be.” -Ahmad
“I have probably a very unpopular opinion, but ladies and gentlemen, this is not your day. You don’t spend your day double bagged in Spanx, paying $100 for people you don’t know to eat a plate.” - Lara
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