Time for the most traditional holiday celebration: A science lesson.

America's worst radioactive accident isn't Three Mile Island, and the Nazi nuclear physicist wasn't assassinated by the famous baseball player.

Sometimes we need a quiet moment in order to step back and look at the bigger picture.

Sure, thorium could provide practically limitless clean energy, but then we couldn't build weapons of mass destruction.

We all know that radioactive rocks glow in the dark, except they actually don't, except for when they actually do.

Out of all the characters who encounter radium in this episode, the only one to emerge unscathed is the guy who comes face-to-face with Satan.

You don't have to have a degree to do science, but it helps.

You know something's amiss when you set off the radiation alarms while walking in to the nuclear power plant.

The story of astatine takes us to Alabama, Dacca, Romania, Vienna, and California, but definitely not Switzerland.

Sadly, it's no longer possible to purchase this lethally radioactive element for fifteen cents and a cereal boxtop.

The periodic table shows the natural patterns and trends among the elements. Bismuth does not abide.

We just can't seem to stop chasing the sweet, sweet taste of element 82.

In which we learn how reading mystery novels might very well save a life.

Even if you hate tuna, have flawless teeth, and only use digital thermometers, humans have historically not been shy about getting a mouthful of mercury.

All other metals step aside, because today we deal with the king of elements.

Sometimes, being set in stone isn't permanent enough.

Alvarez noticed a great disturbance in the rocks, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

This entire episode serves as cautionary advice to anyone seeking to add osmium to their element collection.

Witness an incredible, unbreakable bond between two who couldn't be more alike. We'll also learn about a married couple.

All right, everybody settle down. Welcome to the weekly meeting of the National Association Of W Lovers.