UnF*ck Your Brain
About UnF*ck Your Brain
Most of us have heard of the seven deadly sins, but don’t really know what they are, where they come from, or how they play into how women are expected to behave in our society. In this episode, I’m joined by Elise Loehnen, author of the New York Times best-seller, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good. Tune in as we discuss the seven deadly sins and their origins (including the eighth sin that was eliminated), cultural programming and the effect it has on our lives, what exactly the patriarchy is and how it came to be, and why envy can be a sign of what you truly want. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/319
Let’s talk about anxiety. Specifically, socially-programmed anxiety. This is a type of anxiety that women, and people socialized as women, feel that comes from trying to live up to the impossible expectations of our society. We’re told we need to look a certain way, behave a certain way, and go about our lives making sure everyone else is happy. Trying to live up to these standards causes immense anxiety. And traditional anxiety-reducing methods like yoga and spa days don’t help. On December 5 at 12 p.m. ET, you’re invited to my free training — the Feminist Anxiety Fix — where I’ll dive into what makes up and causes socially-programmed anxiety and what will actually solve it, for good. To register, text your email address to +1 347 997 1784, code word “anxiety” or visit https://unfuckyourbrain.com/anxiety.
We’re getting to that time of year where we start slowing down to reflect on the previous year and start looking forward to the next one. And this is one of the most important episodes for planning, setting goals, and trying to change your life. In this episode, learn what an impossible goal is and how to set one in a way that serves you, understand how perfectionism warps our thinking and how that warped thinking is contributing to the way we think about goals, and how to differentiate between an impossible goal and a perfectionist fantasy. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/318
“When are you going to have kids?” is a question that many women are asked in their lives, sometimes by complete strangers. It’s just assumed that all women should want to have children. This week, Emmalee Bierly and Jennifer Chaiken, licensed marriage and family therapists and hosts of the ShrinkChicks podcast join me as we dig into the anxiety around having, or not having, children (whether by choice or not). Tune in to find out why you shouldn’t base your decision to have kids or not on not wanting to feel regret, how to navigate relationships with people who don’t have the same lifestyle choices as you, and tuning out the socialization we’ve absorbed around having children. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/317
To be able to create the outcomes that we want in our lives, sometimes we have to tone down the drama in our brains. But we often don’t have much perspective on whether or not we’re being dramatic, because as women and people socialized as women, we’re taught that simply having feelings is dramatic. Join me this week as I explain what I mean by “being dramatic,” how the facts of a situation may not be as dramatic as you make them out to be, why I think being dramatic can be harmful, and the beauty of learning that your thoughts cause your feelings, actions, and outcomes in your life. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/316
Join me this week for a special bonus episode with hosts of the Girls Gotta Eat podcast, Rayna Greenberg and Ashley Hesseltine! Tune in as we discuss the intricacies of sex, dating, and relationships, breaking free from societal norms, celebrating the unfiltered truth about women's lives, and even their premium sex toy business. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/girls-gotta-eat
Rae McDaniel, gender and sex therapist and author of Gender Magic, joins me on the podcast this week to talk about the role of gender in a world where we all desire to walk around as our most authentic selves. Even if we don’t have questions about our gender identity, we may question how we’ve been socialized in our genders or how to support others who have questions about their identity. Listen in as we discuss how a positive vision for your future can make it easier to handle challenges you encounter on your journey, gender freedom and what it means, and how exploring what you like is integral to knowing who you are. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/315
Thought work is not frivolous. It’s absolutely necessary, powerful work. The deepest power of thought work is helping us stay centered and grounded when challenging things are happening. Listen to learn the difference between clean and dirty pain, how to not be paralyzed in challenging situations, and how you can reduce and release suffering. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/314
Working hard has gotten a bad rep lately. When you’re creating something you’re passionate about, it’s unrealistic to think that it won’t be hard work. But there’s a difference between running yourself ragged because you’re trying to live up to someone else’s expectations or you think that’s the only way you’ll be successful, and working really hard on something you’re trying to bring into fruition. I’m joined by Oat Haus founder and CEO, Ali Bonar, as we discuss what entrepreneurship really looks like, why the journey and not just the destination has to be worthwhile, why “working too hard” is just another thing for women to police themselves about, and why no matter what your career is it’s ok to work hard. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/313
Dr. Adrienne Mann and Dr. Tyra Fainstad conducted a study of over 1,000 women resident and fellow physicians, enrolling about half of them in a group coaching program, while the other half didn’t receive any coaching. The results were astounding — their research found that coaching drastically improves burnout, imposter syndrome, and self-compassion (among other things). They join me on the podcast this week as we discuss their study, learn why residents were the ideal group to do this research on, define moral injury as it relates to our careers, and learn why group coaching might be right for you. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/312
Let’s talk about anxiety. Specifically, socially-programmed anxiety. This is a type of anxiety that women, and people socialized as women, feel that comes from trying to live up to the impossible expectations of our society. We’re told we need to look a certain way, behave a certain way, and go about our lives making sure everyone else is happy. Trying to live up to these standards causes immense anxiety. And traditional anxiety-reducing methods like yoga and spa days don’t help. On October 24 at 12 p.m. ET, you’re invited to my free training — the Feminist Anxiety Fix — where I’ll dive into what makes up and causes socially-programmed anxiety and what will actually solve it, for good. To register, text your email address to +1 347 997 1784, code word “anxiety” or visit https://unfuckyourbrain.com/anxiety.
We may be experiencing fear, grief, anxiety, and uncertainty about what's happening in the world, even if those events are far away from us. What we do together in this community is make space for our emotions and choose the thoughts we want to believe so we can show up better for the world outside of us, no matter what is happening. But sometimes you need support when you’re going through something hard, personally, politically, or both. This episode provides a reminder of specific podcast episodes that can support you during challenging times. For a full list of these episodes, please go to: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/world/
We assume that clutter is inherently bad or a problem. And for many, lack of organization and clutter leads to anxiety, overwhelm, and stress. On top of that, we're absorbing socialization around the expectation to keep a perfectly tidy and organized home. Join me and values-based organizing expert, author, and coach Shira Gill as we discuss the perfectionist fantasy of organization, the mental or emotional blocks that may come up when you’re trying to get organized, how your disorganization may be caused by your thoughts, and how you can coach yourself into a more organized life. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/311
No matter how long you’ve been coaching yourself, it’s normal to have blocks and challenges come up. If you’ve been self-coaching and just not seeing the results you want, there are a few specific reasons that may be holding you back. Tune in as I share with you the six primary blocks to self-coaching and find out why we really have to see circumstances as neutral, why we need to dig deep in our thought work practice, what role shame plays in thought work, and why insight alone isn’t going to change your brain. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/310
Enrollment for the Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching is officially open for certified coaches and licensed mental health professionals! This will be our only group in 2024, and the last group that I'm going to do as an advanced certification for trained coaches and for therapists. Join us to deep dive into feminist thinking and the history of women's legal, political, and social rights and roles that impact the way that women think today. If your clients have absorbed social messaging about women, their brains have been impacted by it. ACFC is how you coach your clients (of any gender) in ways that don’t diminish their lived experiences and get them better results. Text your email address to +1 347 997 1784 and when prompted send code word ACFC or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/acfc.
Discover the power of coaching and therapy through a feminist lens on this week's podcast episode. Tune in as we explore how understanding the impact of socialization on women's brains can transform coaching and therapy and hear from Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching alumni Jen Fadden, Osaru Anyumba, Nicolassa Galvez, and Rachelle Siebke, as they talk about how ACFC has empowered them in their work and solidified their self-identity, the need to question established norms, how feminist coaching is also beneficial for men, and more. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/309
Calling all certified coaches and licensed mental health professionals! If your clients (of any gender) have absorbed social messaging about women, their brains have been impacted by it. Which means that whether or not you consider yourself a feminist, you need to be able to coach like one. Join my free training How to Coach Like a F.E.M.I.N.I.S.T. on September 26 at 1:30pm ET where I’ll teach you the 8 pillars of feminist coaching. Text your email address to +1 347 997 1784 and send code word FEMINIST when prompted or go to unfuckyourbrain.com/feminist to register for this free training today!
We all feel fear in our lives for all sorts of different reasons. Some fear can be useful and some fear can be unproductive. Regardless of whether your fear is useful or unproductive, it’s important to listen to it, not to give into it but to better understand its source. Tune in this week to my conversation with author, personal finance expert and host of the So Money podcast, Farnoosh Torabi, as we discuss the role fear plays as a natural instinct, how you can differentiate between useful and unproductive fear, what role fear plays in financial anxiety, the impact of fear on ambition, embracing a balanced perspective, and more. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/308
As a historically patriarchal institution, marriages of the past benefited the man far more than the woman. A man and woman became one legal entity, but the woman was essentially absorbed by her husband — she couldn’t hold a profession or make legal decisions for herself. She existed for procreation and unpaid labor. So what happens when despite knowing all of the statistics and all of the history, you think you still might want to get married? In part 2 of this series about my engagement, I focus on the decision to get married as it relates to socialization, why we can’t completely desocialize our brains, and why sometimes you just have to live with ambiguity and ambivalence. Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/307
Most coaching certification and therapy programs don’t teach how to look at socialization and the way it impacts women’s brains and the way they think about themselves in the world. So I’ve created a brand new, free private podcast called How to Coach Like a Feminist: Adding A Feminist Lens to Coaching or Cognitive-Based Therapy. In this limited series starting September 18, you’ll learn about marketing and selling, the client/coach relationship, how to set your client goals, the feminist coaching lens, and more. If you want to learn how adding a feminist lens to your work can completely change your coaching, text your email address to +1 347 997 1784 and enter the keyword COACH when prompted or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/coach.