Self-denial: I’m pretending to be someone I’m not

Growing up, Sean loved his life. He was surrounded by his brothers, and they spent all their time playing sport. He didn't want anything to ruin it. And being gay - well, he didn't know how that would go down.

Ignoring that part of himself led to the creation of Sean’s alter ego, Hank. Appearing whenever Sean drank alcohol, Hank was loud, obnoxious and always getting into trouble. Something that Sean wasn’t and didn’t want to be. But if getting drunk meant he didn’t have to pick up a girl, then he’d rather be Hank.

Over time, Sean began to isolate himself and his mental health deteriorated. Finding someone to talk to, someone who shared and understood Sean’s struggles, turned everything around.

This episode of Not Alone was produced by Audrey Hughes and narrated by Margot Moore. Sound design by Jan Wong. Our theme song is Friends with Feelings, written and performed by Alice Skye, and produced by CAAMA music.

You can access resources related to this episode, including support information at bb.org.au/self-denial

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.