The boyz discuss Planet of the Apes (1968). Enjoy weekly episodes and bonus content at actionboyz.biz!

The boyz discuss The Lawnmower Man.  Check out every episode of the podcast (including new video content) at actionboyz.biz!

Excited and anxious I await my dream To escape, applaud And embrace my team Opening day I always can trust It’s just for this high That I crazily lust Return of our hero Does brighten the days Just briefly, my troubles Get lost in the haze The grace from the field Arouses the crowd Reflects on the days When I was quite proud I’m more entranced Than the average fan I used to play, you see And I know I still can That time I drove the ball With such loft My exit atop shoulders As they carried me off This pastime and I Just fade into one Expanded upon From father and son My boy is young And awkward for now I just need the time And can show him how I really am quite close Just a break away From straightening things out And being okay I can help my team To regain its glory With just a little twist To the same old story Players say now They play for themselves This causes a burning Within me that dwells The fan is the one Who pays for the game Which bestows all the riches And welcomed fame The players will listen But really don’t hear All the while just hiding Behind an invisible tear I grow tired now of all this greed And chart a course to set things free -Gil Renard (THE FAN)

Ok ABZ Boyz and Girlz it's RONIN this week. What a goddamn treat! De Niro is fucking bringing it - was Stanger able to get past him not being sexy enough in this one? Will anybody be able to understand what the fuck Stanger's issue is with De Niro's sexiness? Well, sexiness aside this movie is a winner with an all-star cast, world class stunts and big boy car chases. The prefect movie to launch a series of remotely recorded episodes. Are there some bugs to still be worked out? Sure. Is there more talking over each other than ever? Maybe. But will this episode change the fucking world? You betcha. Remember ActionBabyz, even if the Boyz aren't in the same location to record, Val Verde is where ever you hang your gape gloves. 

Y'all better listen to this episode quick cause the Action Boyz are UNDER SIEGE and they, "got pies in the oven."  Also, did you know the 'Boyz are Cajun? Don't worry, it's of no consequence and it'll never come up again. Bottom line, the only thing standing between national security and Gary Busey in drag and Tommy Lee Jones doing Two-Face, is a cook. Good thing this cook is an ex-seal, with no muscle tone, who will strip down to a tank-top first chance he gets. Did we mention he's just a cook?

Thank Crom for Catwoman. Without her, BATMAN RETURNS would be mostly disgusting Penguin and his dumb plan. This movie also benefits from Christopher Walker's weird turn as Max Shreck, and Andrew Bryniarski's truly incredible performance as his son, Chip. The only bummer is that because the movie had so many press conferences in it (at least 18) there was not much time left for Batman in the final cut (less than 4 minutes). Enjoy the last week of Blockbustune, "meantime - the Boyz have badder fish to fry!" Jon Gabrus, Ben Rodgers and Ryan Stanger are sharing some classic Actionboyz episodes, previously only available to Patreon subscribers HERE. Share this feed with your friends who need convincing before they commit five dollars a month for hours of laughter and parasocial entertainment. And maybe this feed will also feature new episodes down the line :extreme sly stallone voice: Who Knows?

Become one with the Action Boyz, they will be your eyes, strength and cunning for the time honored classic, Beastmaster. The Boyz marvel at the simplicity of the story, the LA actor/waiter "feel" that Marc Singer brings to the role of Dar, and the fact that probably EVERY animal was harmed during the making of this feature. So strip down, oil up and put on your eyeball ring cause Maax is killing kids and the Jun might be coming and you were born from a cow and some bird people are gonna save you and you save a slave girl and your dad's alive but he's blind and a bunch of other shit. Jon Gabrus, Ben Rodgers and Ryan Stanger are sharing some classic Actionboyz episodes, previously only available to Patreon subscribers HERE. Share this feed with your friends who need convincing before they commit five dollars a month for hours of laughter and parasocial entertainment. And maybe this feed will also feature new episodes down the line :extreme sly stallone voice: Who Knows?

The ABz enter the small town of Jasper, which is located on some kind of small lake or river where everyone can see each other at all times, bouncers are like nationally known rock stars, and Gabrus is comforted by the amount of fat guys that populate it.  Road House is a masterpiece that follows the dramatic principle of Chekhov's Monster truck: if in the first act you introduce a monster truck, then in the following one it should run over the cars in the local dealership. Jon Gabrus, Ben Rodgers and Ryan Stanger are sharing some classic Actionboyz episodes, previously only available to Patreon subscribers HERE. Share this feed with your friends who need convincing before they commit five dollars a month for hours of laughter and parasocial entertainment. And maybe this feed will also feature new episodes down the line <extreme sly stallone voice> Who Knows?

"Well what do you wanna know?!? That they're afraid?!? That for the first times in their lives the Action Boyz are afraid? Afraid that their rationale for picking Rocky III as their "Thanksgiving" movie doesn't makes sense. Afraid they got too specific about Clubber Lang's apartment situation. Afraid Gabrus was too in to Rocky's funeral attire as a young boy. If you're afraid this episode is "gonna bust you up", be like the Action Boyz and say the anticlimactic line, "Go for it" Jon Gabrus, Ben Rodgers and Ryan Stanger are sharing some classic Actionboyz episodes, previously only available to Patreon subscribers HERE.  Share this feed with your friends who need convincing before they commit five dollars a month for hours of laughter and parasocial entertainment.  And maybe this feed will also feature new episodes down the line <extreme sly stallone voice> Who Knows?

"You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?" If you're like the ABZ, then that quotes and so many others are permanently burned into your brains. It's BATMAN this week, the one that started them all. Basinger is smoke show, Keaton's amazing, Nicholson is a fucking genius, Wuhl's killing it, Hingle is at the top of his game, Hall couldn't be better, Hootkins is hitting home runs but Michael Gogh as Alfred is fucking pussy. Now, you wanna get nuts?? Come on! Let's get nuts!!  Jon Gabrus, Ben Rodgers and Ryan Stanger are sharing some classic Actionboyz episodes, previously only available to Patreon subscribers HERE.  Share this feed with your friends who need convincing before they commit five dollars a month for hours of laughter and parasocial entertainment.  And maybe this feed will also feature new episodes down the line <extreme sly stallone voice> Who Knows?

Put down your sketch pads ActionBoyz boyz and girlz, the nude model that your drawing is trying to trick you into attending an event for Chinese democracy tonight. You should just stay home and watch this week's pick, RAPID FIRE. Powers Boothe becomes Brandon Lee's dad by the end of the movie - for no reason. Brandon Lee showers in the kitchen sink and The Boyz pay tribute to him and his tragic demise by going on and on about how big his head is.  Jon Gabrus, Ben Rodgers and Ryan Stanger are sharing some classic Actionboyz episodes, previously only available to Patreon subscribers HERE.  Share this feed with your friends who need convincing before they commit five dollars a month for hours of laughter and parasocial entertainment.  And maybe this feed will also feature new episodes down the line <extreme sly stallone voice> Who Knows?

The ActionBoyz break down the many timelines, accents, and homoerotic undertones of the 1986 classic, Highlander. Rodgers gets too excited about recognizing a bar, Gabrus shares what he says during climax, and Stanger's son shows up.  Feel the stag!  Jon Gabrus, Ben Rodgers and Ryan Stanger are sharing some classic Actionboyz episodes, previously only available to Patreon subscribers HERE.  Share this feed with your friends who need convincing before they commit five dollars a month for hours of laughter and parasocial entertainment.  And maybe this feed will also feature new episodes down the line <extreme sly stallone voice> Who Knows?

Jon Gabrus, Ben Rodgers and Ryan Stanger are sharing some classic Actionboyz episodes, previously only available to Patreon subscribers HERE.  Share this feed with your friends who need convincing before they commit five dollars a month for hours of laughter and parasocial entertainment.  And maybe this feed will also feature new episodes down the line <extreme sly stallone voice> Who Knows? It's time for SUDDEN DEATH...The countdown started well before any of you were born and has been running this whole time - for dramatic effect? Face off with the Boyz as they attempt to understand the most complex hostage plan ever hatched and answer hard questions like, why the Vice President? Do foreign firefighters exist? Does JCVD even know what he's saying? Join us in the owners box, we got big soft chairs and plenty to eat. 

Jon Gabrus, Ben Rodgers and Ryan Stanger are sharing some classic Actionboyz episodes, previously only available to Patreon subscribers HERE. Share this feed with your friends who need convincing before they commit five dollars a month for hours of laughter and parasocial entertainment. And maybe this feed will also feature new episodes down the line <extreme sly stallone voice> Who Knows?