Chinggay and Patty fixate on their current Hallmark kinks: Patagonia sad dads and crumbs from a kind friend-to-lover. This week’s movies fall under No Man’s Land season, where random themes reign supreme — female empowerment care of fighter pilot moms and car mechanic daughters. Two favourite actresses, Erin Cahill and Rachel Boston, return for less than stellar movies; and two favourite Hallmark hunks Niall Matter and Tyler Hynes battle it out (and fail). At the end of the day, it’s the dude who scratches the dependability itch that trumps all. John Mayer dependability kink A Taste of Love (Erin Cahill, Martin Kove) The More Love Grows (Rachel Boston, Warren Christie) Come Fly with Me (Heather Hemmes, Niall Matter) Shifting Gears (Katherine Barrell, Tyler Hynes) Guiding Emily (Sarah Drew, Antonio Cupo) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty get loud, proud, and prejudiced because it’s Austen month on the Hallmark Channel! It is a truth universally acknowledged that when certain actors who BMIH has deemed disgraced come on-screen, you get a pod filled with intense rage. On the opposite end of the spectrum, this season is also happily full of intense longing, love, and female empowerment… thanks to the dazzling display of talent presented by old faves Will Kemp, Mallory Jansen, and newcomer Eliza Bennett. Fellow Jane-ites, you’ll need to give this ep a listen. Love & Jane (Alison Sweeney, Benjamin Ayres) Sense & Sensibility (Deborah Ayorinde, Bethany Antonia, Dan Jeannotte) Paging Mr. Darcy (Mallory Jansen, Will Kemp) An American in Austen (Eliza Bennett, Nicholas Bishop) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty actually get through New Year New Movies without a hitch! The year started with a slew of sports offset by Hallmark’s usual tropes. Rugby + fascination with a foreign land, golf + dead moms, aerial silks + small town festival. The one movie that managed to steer clear of any tropes, of course, took our breath away—and we have Laci J. Mailley’s fabulous bob and Marco Grazzini to thank for that. A Scottish Love Scheme (Erika Durance, Jordan Young) Love on the Right Course (Ashley Newbrough, Marcus Rosner) Betty’s Bad Luck in Love (Laci J. Mailley, Marco Grazzini) Romance with a Twist (Jocelyn Hudon, Olivier Renaud) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty share their Top 12 movies from this year’s Countdown to Christmas and Miracles of Christmas season. This year, we get fans, family, and friends to share their thoughts on our top picks; and rank our best holiday movies from across the years. It’s been a rollercoaster of a season—thanks for sticking it out with us! Round and Round (Vic Michaelis, Bryan Greenberg, Rick Hoffman) A Biltmore Christmas (Bethany Joy Lenz, Kristoffer Polaha, Jonathan Frakes, Robert Picardo) Never Been Chris’d (Janel Parrish, Pascal Lamothe-Kipnes, Tyler Hynes) Christmas Island (Rachel Skarsten, Andrew Walker) Haul Out the Holly: Lit Up (Lacey Chabert, Wes Brown, Stephen Tobolowsky, Melissa Peterman, Ellen Travolta) My Christmas Guide (Amber Marshall, Ben Mehl) Holiday Hotline (Emily Tennant, Niall Matter) Mystic Christmas (Jessy Schram, Chandler Massey, Patti Murin, William R. Moss) Rescuing Christmas (Rachael Leigh Cook, Sam Page) A Season for Family (Brendan Penny, Stacey Farber, Benjamin Jacobson, Azriel Dalman) A Not So Royal Christmas (Brooke D'Orsay, Will Kemp) Flipping for Christmas (Ashley Newbrough, Marcus Rosner) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty throw well-deserved shade at nearly every movie this week and unwillingly come up with a nice movie amidst a sea of naughty ones (the bar was on the floor for the end of Countdown to Christmas). That said, we celebrate our lezzie queens and admit that all we want for Christmas is a Sugar Daddy. Sealed with a List (Kate Findlay, Evan Roderick) Friends & Family Christmas (Humberly Gonzalez, Ali Liebert) An Ice Palace Romance (Celeste Desjardins, Marcus Rosner) The Secret Gift of Christmas (Megan Ohry, Christopher Russell) Miracle in Bethlehem, PA (Laura Vandervoort, Benjamin Ayres) Heaven Down Here (Krystal Joy Brown, Tina Lifford, Juan Riedinger, Richard Harmon, Phylicia Rashad) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty just cannot with Hallmark’s attempt at making a “This is Us” movie; plus Paul Campbell and Kimberly Sustad come to the screens but in separate movies, and it breaks our hearts a little. We celebrate Sam Page’s return to the channel (with Rachael Leigh Cook as an added bonus). And for the fourth year in a row, Hanukkah steals our hearts, wipes the competition, and kicks Christmas movies to the curb. Round and Round (Vic Michaelis, Bryan Greenberg, Rick Hoffman) Rescuing Christmas (Rachael Leigh Cook, Sam Page) Magic in Mistletoe (Lyndie Greenwood, Paul Campbell) To All a Good Night (Kimberley Sustad, Mark Ghanimé) Christmas on Cherry Lane (Catherine Bell, Jonathan Bennett, John Brotherton, Erin Cahill, James Denton, Vincent Rodriguez III) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty trudge through another round of mediocre movies saved by one gem and one gem alone. There’s the yearly call to arms protesting the Time For x Miracles of Christmas movies, and an unfortunately messy Mahogany movie with what would have been a promising cast (hello again, Ronnie Rowe Jr.). Hallmark’s Fascination with a Foreign Land transports us to Norway this week, and we’re also whipped off to a fake kingdom where Will Kemp pretends to be a Count. Disclaimer: we slept through many of the week’s duds. Time for Her to Come Home for Christmas (Shenaie Grimes-Beech, Chris Carmack, Grace Leer) Christmas with a Kiss (Mishael Morgan, Ronnie Rowe Jr., Jaime M. Calica) My Norweigan Holiday (Rhiannon Fish, David Elsendoorn) A Not So Royal Christmas (Brooke D'Orsay, Will Kemp) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty speed through eight movies in under a week and weed through the naughty ones so you don’t have to watch them. Fast forward through holiday mediocrity and more couples in trouble and hit pause for a surprise makeout scene. We see Patty’s most beloved tropes from across the Pond demolished, and Chinggay gives in to Love, Actually-inspired schmaltz. The clear winners of the week are Hallmark’s go big or go home fare: a zany neighbourhood comedy and time-traveling Bethany Joy Lenz with 1940s Kristoffer Polaha in “A Biltmore Christmas.” Our Christmas Mural (Alex Paxton-Beesley, Dan Jeannot) Catch Me If You Claus (Italia Ricci, Luke Macfarlane) A Season for Family (Brendan Penny, Stacey Farber, Benjamin Jacobson, Azriel Dalman) Christmas in Notting Hill (Sarah Ramos, William Moseley) Letters to Santa (Katie Leclerc, Rafael de la Fuente) Holiday Road (Sara Canning, Warren Christie) Haul Out the Holly: Lit Up (Lacey Chabert, Wes Brown, Stephen Tobolowsky, Melissa Peterman, Ellen Travolta, Seth Morris, Jennifer Aspen) A Biltmore Christmas (Bethany Joy Lenz, Kristoffer Polaha, Jonathan Frakes, Robert Picardo) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty trudge through the holiday sludge before getting to the cream of the crop of this week. Nikki deLoach gets crowned as Queen of all Couples In Trouble ™, Lucas Bryant and Stephen Huszar are nominated as Dead Eyes Sr. and Jr., and Lacey Chabert looks fab in off-shoulder tops. The cameo to end all cameos happens this week, plus a callback to “You’ve Got Mail” that makes Niall Matter one of our top DILFs. Navigating Christmas (Chelsea Hobbs, Stephen Huszar) A World Record Christmas (Nikki DeLoach, Lucas Bryant, Aias Dalman) A Merry Scottish Christmas (Lacey Chabert, Scott Wolf) Holiday Hotline (Emily Tennant, Niall Matter) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty call it a tie—two naughties and two nice movies this week. We send Cindy Busby our Yuletide sympathies, are glad to have Good Witch Joy back in circulation, and are in support of Hallmark’s Fascination with Foreign Lands™️. Lastly, it’s a battle between Hallmark’s Finest with burly Victor Webster and king of the Almost Kisses Andrew Walker. Everything Christmas (Katherine Barrell, Cindy Busby, Corey Sevier, Matt Wells) A Heidelberg Holiday (Ginna Claire Mason, Frédéric Brossier) Mystery on Mistletoe Lane (Erika Cera, Victor Webster) Christmas Island (Rachel Skarsten, Andrew Walker) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty have zero notes because this week’s movies are pitch perfect—two thumbs up for every Hallmark genre. The always delightful Hunter King leads the pack in an ensemble / girls’ night out flick. Our fave Heartland gal Amber Marshall melts our hearts as she gets it on with professorial heartthrob + Hallmark newcomer of the week, Ben Mehl. We are tied up in knots over beautiful people flipping houses with Marcus Rosner and Ashley Newbrough. And our best gal Janel Parrish finally paired with master of swagger Tyler Hynes? It doesn’t get better than this. The Santa Summit (Hunter King, Benjamin Hollingsworth) Flipping for Christmas (Ashley Newbrough, Marcus Rosner) My Christmas Guide (Amber Marshall, Ben Mehl) Never Been Chris’d (Janel Parrish, Pascal Lamothe-Kipnes, Tyler Hynes) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty have a huge slice of humble pie this week as their former Hallmark hates become this week’s big winners. While we wish Jaicy Elliot and Brant Daughtery could get a better storyline (no more stupid fables, please), we have no notes for the ultimate Zaddy himself, Brennan Elliot. Patty makes peace with Barbara Niven, while Chinggay eats her words and admits we got a Jessy Schram-tastic movie in Mystic Christmas. Surprise surprise, Chandler Massey finally gets in BMIH’s good graces. Christmas By Design (Rebecca Dalton, Jonathan Keltz) Joyeux Noel (Jaicy Elliot, Brant Daugherty) Ms. Christmas Comes To Town (Erica Durance, Brennan Elliott, Barbara Niven) Mystic Christmas (Jessy Schram, Chandler Massey, Patti Murin, William R. Moss) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty return to the pod as Hallmark launches Countdown to Christmas. On the first week of holiday movies, we get women in STEM with a too-hot brother, Kevin McGarry’s blue eyes and perfect hair, and Michael Rady making a comeback in a magical realism movie no one asked for but inevitably stole our hearts. Not a bad start to the season! Under the Christmas Sky (Jessica Parker Kennedy, Ryan Paevey) Checkin’ It Twice (Kim Matula, Kevin McGarry) Where Are You, Christmas? (Lyndsy Fonseca, Michael Rady, Jim O'Heir, Julie Warner) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty skip the winter season and head straight into spring… with way more movies than they bargained for. It’s a mixed bag with clear losers, middling airtime fillers, and two of the best movies we’ve seen in a while, thanks to Hallmark’s two Erins—Krakow and Cahill. Plus: a new nemesis to watch out for. Love in the Maldives (Jocelyn Hutton, Jake Manley) A Picture of Her (Rhiannon Fish, Tyler Hynes) When Love Springs (Rhiannon Fish, James O'Halloran) The Professional Bridesmaid (Hunter King, Chandler Massey) A Pinch of Portugal (Heather Hemmens, Luke Mitchell) The Wedding Cottage (Erin Krakow, Brendan Penny) Hearts in the Game (Erin Cahill, Marco Grazzini) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty’s own Miracle of Christmas? Making it through 10 weekly episodes, 40 movies, and a ton of surprises cameos this year. 2022 was a stacked year, but we’ve managed to whittle it down to the best 15, just for you. Happy New Year folks—see you next season. Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty go bananas over the utter perfection that is “Hanukkah on Rye.” We’re talking Jewish nuance, a smashing ensemble cast, smart writing, witty banter, and our favorite trope of all: “You’ve Got Mail / The Shop Around the Corner.” Forget every other movie this week and just watch this one four times over. Plus: a husband wife switcheroo for f*ck marry kill. Five More Minutes: Moments Like These (Ashley Williams, Lucas Bryant) Holiday Heritage (Lyndie Greenwood, Brooks Darnell and Holly Robinson Peete) ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (Torrey deVito, Zane Holtz) Hanukkah on Rye (Yael Grobglas, Jeremy Jordan) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty revel at all the barriers that were broken this week. Jonathan Bennett’s efforts to spearhead inclusivity for the LGBTQ community were top notch—“The Holiday Sitter” is joining the ranks of Hallmark Christmas classics for years to come. The surprise of the season is Dayspring’s Christianity-centric movie, which had fast faves Niki DeLoach and Zaddy himself, Brennan Elliott, exploring grief. Bonus: a f*ck marry kill where the extras reign supreme. Catch us every week until December for our roundup of holiday hits! Christmas Class Reunion (Aimee Teegarden, Tanner Novlan) The Most Colorful Time of the Year (Katrina Bowden, Christopher Russell) The Gift of Peace (Nikki DeLoach, Brennan Elliott) The Holiday Sitter (Jonathan Bennett, George Krissa, Chelsea Hobbs) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty nearly call it quits after the most disappointing lineup of movies BMIH has ever seen. Kudos to Steven Huszar for sending shockwaves into our hearts by playing an ex-Navy Seal bodyguard. We watch these movies so you don’t have to—hear our thoughts and immediately tune into “Undercover Holiday” for shits, giggles, and holiday Huszar action. Catch us every week until December for our roundup of holiday hits! A Big Fat Family Christmas (Shannon Chan-Kent, Shannon Kook, Tia Carrere, Jack Wagner) A Fabled Holiday (Brooke d'Orsay, Ryan Paevey) The Holiday Stocking (Nadine Ellis, Tamala Jones, and BJ Britt. Cameo by Mykelti Williamson) Undercover Holiday (Noemi Gonzalez, Steven Huszar) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty divvy up the Merry Thanksgiving movies into three categories—mediocre non-performers, basic Hallmark fare, and all-new classics everyone’s sure to rewatch for years to come. BMIH kings Tyler Hynes and Victor Webster take the cake this week, while HCU queens Lacey Chabert and Rachel Boston show everyone how it’s done. There’s a little something for everyone this week and that’s enough reason to go through eight movies in one go. Special mention to Hallmark’s next gen up and comers Jaicy Elliot and Hunter King. Catch us every week until December for our roundup of holiday hits! A Holiday Spectacular (Ginna Claire Mason, Derek Klena, Eve Plumb, Ann-Margret, and features the Radio City Rockettes) A Tale of Two Christmases (Katherine Barrell, Chandler Massey, Evan Roderick) A Royal Corgi Christmas (Hunter King, Jordan Renzo ) Time for Him to Come Home for Christmas (Holland Roden, Tyler Hynes, Tenille Townes) My Southern Family Christmas (Jaicy Elliot, Ryan Rottman, with Moira Kelly, Bruce Campbell) #Xmas (Clare Bowen, Brant Daugherty) A Christmas Cookie Catastrophe (Rachel Boston, Victor Webster) Haul Out the Holly (Lacey Chabert, Wes Brown, Stephen Tobolowsky, Melissa Peterman, Ellen Travolta) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark

Chinggay and Patty speed through the week’s meh movies in order to a fully fleshed out, in-depth look at Hallmark’s most highly-rated movie yet, “Three Wise Men and a Baby.” Andrew Walker (aka Captain America of the HCU) as a firefighter who looks after his family because he’s perfect like that, Paul Campbell as an anxiety-ridden pet therapist who’s socially inept, and Tyler Hynes as a nerdy gamer who suffers from Peter Pan syndrome come together in a whipsmart movie that pays tribute to the invisible labor of women (co-written by Kimberly Sustad and Paul Campbell). The sheer starpower of this movie required two full rounds of F*ck, Marry, Kill. Catch us every week until December for our roundup of holiday hits! Long Lost Christmas (Taylor Coke, Benjamin Ayres) Inventing the Christmas Prince (Tamara Mowry-Housley, Ronnie Rowe) When I Think of Christmas (Shenae Grimes-Beech, Niall Matter) Three Wise Men and a Baby (Andrew Walker, Paul Campbell, Tyler Hynes, Margaret Colin) Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark