Episode 14 - Ellie Lane Coaching
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For over 25 years, ellie has worked with clients as a therapist and coach, guiding them to achieve personal and professional fulfillment. her belief is everyone can create strong relationships, a high level of self-love, and be wildly successful in their professional life. Through the courage to look deeply within and develop oneself, a whole world of possibility opens up. ellie’s work now focuses on helping ambitious women use emotional intelligence and mindset mastery to move past internal barriers and create more success than they ever imagined.
HER BACKGROUND
Ellie talks about a quote from Margaret Mead that has always been inspirational to her; “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” Ellie started out wanting to help people and was fascinated with why people do what they do as well as human motivation and human behavior. She knew that social work was a good fit but quickly realized that she wanted to go into the therapy route because she liked working one on one with people and understanding people and helping them that way. Ellie did her masters in social work and set up her practice from there.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COACHING AND THERAPY
Ellie and I discuss the difference between therapy and coaching. She explains that there is a lot of overlap in the practice but that she focuses more on deeper transformation. Ellie clarifies that therapy spends more time focusing on the past and that people often come in identifying a singular problem that they want addressed whereas coaching is very focused on where you are headed next and what you want to create in your life. We talk about how she gets excited to focus on coaching in her practice and that her focus on women has evolved and that this is a particularly incredible time in the world. We talk about how women are talking more about leadership and being truly successful in a new way and how exciting that is.
STARTING HER OWN PRACTICE
Ellie discusses how she knew in grad school that she wanted to work for herself and to be flexible in her life with the freedom of having her own business. Ellie touches on the fact that she needed to be really clear when starting out in what she wanted to do and really focusing on answering why she wanted to start her own practice. She thinks back to her want from when she was little to have an impact in some manner to change the world and reflects about what the meaning is to you and when you’re hitting the hurdles if you can’t go back to your why then you can get really stuck. Another part that she needed to focus on was the mindset piece with self awareness and managing any self doubt, which we all struggle with but knowing that she had to keep going and persisting.
ON ATTRACTING NEW CLIENTS
Ellie talks about how she focuses on spreading the word about her business and attracting new clients. She talks about beyond word of mouth really utilizing social media and being able to build connections and join communities and letting people know what she’s doing. We talk about the shift during COVID and how Ellie has been able to jump right into connecting online instead of in person. She talks about her practice having easily shifted but that she knows that she needs to have patience and that it takes time building or expanding anything.
HOW TO PERSEVERE WITH COVID
Ellie talks about how everything comes down to how you see things and what you focus on and that you have to get back up and keep going with courage and stamina. She talks about self care and that sometimes we need to remember to get back to the basics with the anxieties that the world brings with it today. She also reminds her clients to try to find an outlet where you can channel your anxious or angry energy because it is real and ok to have but that you have to do something with it so that it doesn’t overwhelm you.
IMPOSTER SYNDROME
Ellie and I discuss how common self doubt is and that everyone has it, even the most successful people. Ellie’s thoughts on self doubt and imposter syndrome are to not try to get rid of it but instead get good at it. Have it and find the courage to move forward because it is normal. Ellie believes that there is nothing wrong with people when they feel like an imposter and that she can attest to overthinking and that it gets her stuck. She explains that it is good to have a safe place in your life where you can express your doubt openly. She goes on to talk about imposter syndrome being a sign that you’re pushing yourself and spending time with other people who are doing big things. She talks about the quote “If you’re the smartest person in the room then you’re in the wrong room.” Ellie stresses that this idea makes you push yourself and that if you’re going to push yourself and challenge yourself then naturally you’re going to ask if you should be doing this or belong here. Ellie reflects back to a time where her mother who was a college professor and was very successful and spoke around the world told her that she still got nervous and how that normalized things for her.
NORMALIZING LIFE TRANSITIONS
Ellie and I discuss the pivotal moments that naturally come with life and career and that it is normal to feel lost or unsure of what your next phase will look like. Ellie stresses that it is normal at some stage and maybe even a little bit at every stage that you’re transitioning and that we don’t need to completely get rid of these things. Ellie talks about getting really clear on your values and asks what are your top two or three values that you can use as a compass. She explains that if you stay very conscious of that and you align your major choices with those values, naturally you’re going to be less stressed. She talks about using the enneagram as a map to helping understand yourself better and adds that people often get caught up in the rat race or listening to the voices that are telling them that they should do something and that it takes practice to quiet those voices and really listen to your own intuition.
EMBRACING SELF WORTH
We discuss Ellie’s tagline, creating success from the inside out. Ellie still often sees women who are “other” focused and recognizes that it is wired in us to take care of others. She speaks to how to take care of your own needs while taking care of others and not to be too overwhelmed and that depending on your upbringing and the beliefs that you developed early on it can lead into how much challenge you may have with this. She says that most of the women she sees in therapy and coaching are all working on this. She stresses having to build that strong foundation on the inside first because she truly believes that people become more successful that way.
WHAT WOMEN ARE SEEKING
Ellie explains that people often go to her for one thing, in therapy it could be anxiety or divorce, as a coach it could be determining the next step or direction. She says that even when people are coming to her for those things it often still boils down to self confidence and self worth and that once they tackle those issues they move forward from there. One piece of advice she has is knowing who you are, getting clear on what you want to do in the world and how you can contribute and that is how you can step into your own power in order to show up in your own lives and relationships the way you want to. We discuss the journey and that when you are in it you forget that it is all part of the process of exploring and that all the pieces will get you to where you are going. Ellie talks about being able to draw all of your experiences and pull it into your new experience. She talks about getting into the coaching space and highly suggests getting training as you are dealing with people’s lives as well as getting a mentor and a coach and being willing to do some internal work as well in order to help people with theirs.
NEWS & UPDATES
Ellie talks about an organization that she is joining called International Smart Advancing Women. She is going to be their mental health expert and is excited as it is an organization that is focused on and devoted to women’s equality and creating a better world for girls and women. Ellie is also happy to offer you, as listeners, a free strategy session to see what coaching is like. She has also recently launched a program: Building Boundaries for Life and Work which you can register for by clicking here.
links + resources
WHERE TO FIND ELLIE
GET INSPIRED
Book Club Recommendation: How Women Rise
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