In this episode of "This Complex Life," I speak with Dr Lucy, We delve into the profound relationship between our mindset, eating habits, and overall well-being. Dr. Lucy, a dedicated medical practitioner and co-founder of Real Life Medicine, sheds light on the importance of understanding the psychology behind our eating patterns and moving beyond diet-centric approaches to foster a life filled with joy, energy, and health. Whether you're struggling with diet culture, seeking sustainable health solutions, or curious about the psychological aspects of eating, this conversation might be just what you need Themes: The Psychology of Eating: Exploring the impact of mindset on our eating habits and how societal pressures and diet culture contribute to our food choices. Beyond Dieting: A discussion on why focusing solely on weight loss is not the answer and how Real Life Medicine approaches health and well-being. Empowerment Through Knowledge: Understanding the role of processed foods, stress, and emotional well-being in our health journey. Key Takeaways: Mindset Matters: Our psychological state plays a significant role in our eating habits, influencing both our food choices and our relationship with food. The Fallacy of Diet Culture: Dr. Lucy highlights the limitations of dieting and the importance of focusing on overall health rather than just weight loss. Navigating Stress and Emotions: The conversation uncovers practical strategies for managing stress and emotional triggers that affect our eating patterns. Featured Quotes: "When you understand why you eat, that's the biggest piece of the puzzle." – Dr. Lucy "Processed food steals the joy of real food." – Dr. Lucy "Eating is not a team sport; it's an individual pursuit." – Dr. Lucy About your guest Dr Lucy is passionate about health. She helps women who have tried every diet under the sun optimise their health and achieve long lasting weight loss by improving metabolism and managing mindset so they can reduce the effects of chronic disease, have more energy and confidence and stop living life on the sidelines. She was an “expert dieter” and an “expert emotional eater”. She developed obesity, fatty liver and pre-diabetes. As a medical doctor, this was mortifying.  She has completely abandoned traditional dieting and embraces a real food lifestyle. Dr Lucy is a medical doctor, a lifestyle medicine physician, and is trained in many facets of psychological medicine including hypnotherapy. She runs online holistic health and weight programs with her colleague Dr Mary Barson. They have now helped thousands of women reclaim their health. They are both very real and relatable and embody their company name - Real Life Medicine Mentioned Links and Resources: Website https://www.rlmedicine.com/ The 12 week Mind Body Rebalancejoin the  wait list https://www.rlmedicine.com/12WMBR Free Ebook Weight Loss is all about Hormones https://www.rlmedicine.com/weightloss-ebook Facebook https://www.facebook.com/reallifemedicine Instagram https://www.instagram.com/real_life_medicine/ @real_life_medicine The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here...

In this episode, I address a listener's question on how to support a daughter through the trauma of sexual assault with sensitivity and without adding to her burden.  Themes: Responding to Sexual Assault: Understanding the significance of a supportive response and how it can influence a survivor's recovery journey. Practical Tips for Support: I discuss tangible steps and strategies for supporting survivors, emphasising autonomy, safe spaces, and the importance of consent even in familial interactions. Navigating the Healing Process: Insights into the healing journey, acknowledging the uniqueness of each survivor's experience and the importance of patience and personal care in recovery. Key Takeaways: Believe and Support: The paramount importance of believing the survivor and offering unconditional support, understanding, and empathy. Empowering Autonomy: Strategies to empower survivors by offering choices and respecting their autonomy in the healing process. Self-care for Supporters: The necessity for supporters to seek their own support, recognising the impact of secondary trauma and ensuring they are well-equipped to provide sustained assistance. Featured Quotes: "Your support is crucial, and you can support them by believing them, being a good listener, and never blaming them." – Marie Vakakis "Approach with care and allow as much autonomy and choice as you can." – Marie Vakakis "Listen actively and with empathy, allowing her to express thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment." – Marie Vakakis Mentioned Links and Resources: 1-800-RESPECT: A national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service for Australians. https://aifs.gov.au/resources/resource-sheets/mandatory-reporting-child-abuse-and-neglect https://fullstop.org.au/get-help/our-services The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In today’s episode, I dive deep into the heart of self-growth and relationships with the return of esteemed guest, Dr. Jenny Brown.  Join us as we explore her work on emotional maturity, based on her book, "Growing Yourself Up. How to Bring Your Best to All of Life's Relationships" Together, we uncover the nuanced ways our personal development influences and is influenced by our relationships. Dr. Brown shares enlightening insights into achieving autonomy while fostering meaningful connections, grounding her discussion in both personal experiences and Bowen Family Systems Theory. This conversation is a  must-listen for anyone seeking to navigate the complexities of self and relationships with grace and wisdom. Themes: Self-Growth and Relationships: We delve into the symbiotic relationship between individual growth and our interactions with others, shedding light on the crucial role of self-awareness. Bowen Family Systems Theory: Dr. Brown demystifies this theory, making it accessible and highlighting its significance across the various stages of adult life. Navigating Autonomy and Connection: A closer look at finding balance between independence and relational ties, and the continuous journey towards maturity. Key Takeaways: The Journey of Self-Reflection: Understanding our impact within relationships is key to our personal and relational growth. Lifelong Maturity: Dr. Brown reminds us that maturity is not a destination but a journey, offering growth opportunities at every life stage. Strategies for Family Dynamics: Practical advice on maintaining one’s self in the midst of family pressures, particularly during festive seasons. Mentioned Links and Resources: Growing Yourself Up by Dr. Jenny Brown – A key resource for anyone looking to deepen their understanding of themselves and their relationships through the lens of family systems theory. Past interview with Dr Jenny Brown - Episode 78 https://marievakakis.com.au/building-stronger-parent-child-relationships-a-conversation-with-jenny-brown/  About your guest Jenny Brown Dr Jenny Brown has been working in the field of child and family mental health and family therapy since the 1980’s. She has been a trainer and supervisor in the field in Australia and internationally for over 20 years. Jenny is Emeritus Executive Director of the Family Systems Institute Sydney, which she co-founded in 2004. She currently directs the Family Systems Practice and the Parent Hope Project (manualized interventions in child mental health). She is a clinical member and supervisor for the Australian Association of Family Therapy and, in 2018, received the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy award for distinguished contribution to family therapy in Australia. In 2022 she received the annual research award from Bowen Centre for the Study of the Family in Washington DC. Connect with Jenny parenthopeproject.com.au;  thefsi.com.au The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In today's episode, the tables have turned as Jodi Green interviews me, discussing some of the differences between coaching and therapy. Key Insights: Coaching vs. Therapy: We discuss the distinctions between coaching and therapy in supporting folk with ADHD. We explore the differences and similarities Impact on Relationships: Addressing the ripple effects of ADHD on personal connections. From executive functioning challenges to time blindness and rejection sensitivity, we explore how these factors can influence the dynamics of relationships. Trial and Error in Therapy: Embracing the journey of self-discovery and experimentation. Highlighting the importance of building trust, recognising individual needs, and fostering a supportive environment for clients to voice their preferences. About your guest Jodi Green ''I believe in people with ADHD. I am here to be your coach and cheerleader as you find the sweet spot in your life, with ADHD in the mix. I am a certified ADHD Life Coach, and over the last 6 years I've helped hundreds of people living with ADHD. Personal and professional experience mean I know it's not easy, but I think I've figured out the perfect mix of support and coaching (IMHO!). If you are willing to believe in yourself, and want a partner to walk with you along the weekly ups and downs towards your goals, I'm your girl.'' https://www.adhd-id.com.au/adhd-coach-melbourne/ Connect with Marie The Get Ready for Therapy Journal Here https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/ https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In this episode of This Complex Life, I talk with Jodi Green, an ADHD coach about ADHD, the impact it can have on relationships and strategies for managing it. Key Takeaways: Jodi Green emphasises that ADHD coaching is not about forcing someone into doing hard things; it's more about making tasks achievable and finding strategies to make them more interesting or easier. Tipping points in life, such as transitions from high school to university or entering the workforce, can trigger a need for new strategies to cope with changing structures. Many women get diagnosed later in life, often due to shifting structures like motherhood, we discuss the importance of being open to exploring how tasks can be made more manageable. ADHD affects executive functions, such as planning, organising, and time management, which can lead to various challenges in daily life. These challenges are unique to each individual with ADHD. The impact of undiagnosed ADHD can lead to feelings of shame, self-doubt, and internalised negative beliefs. Diagnosis can provide clarity and understanding, allowing individuals to reframe their experiences. Rejection sensitivity is common in people with ADHD, and it can affect relationships. Understanding that emotional reactions are often related to ADHD symptoms can help partners provide support and empathy. Effective communication in relationships involves recognising the root causes of behaviours related to ADHD. It's important to avoid the parent-child dynamic and instead focus on collaborative problem-solving. ADHD can lead to hyperfixation on certain tasks or interests. While some tasks may be less enjoyable, Jodi suggests finding ways to make them more engaging or outsourcing them. Jodi recommends that adults who suspect they have ADHD seek a diagnosis through a psychologist or psychiatrist. Don't hesitate to seek a second opinion. The transition from high school to college or the workforce can be a tipping point for individuals with ADHD, as structures change, and new challenges emerge. Coaching can be a valuable resource for adults with ADHD, helping them identify strategies and solutions tailored to their unique challenges. In seeking a coach, it's essential to look for professionals who have received specific ADHD coaching training and, if possible, are members of the International Coach Federation (ICF) to ensure ethical standards. Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ Connect with Jodi https://www.adhd-id.com.au/adhd-coach-melbourne/

Join me as we explore this common challenge and discover strategies to build better communication. Key Takeaways: Teens want to feel heard, validated, and empathised with. Avoid offering unsolicited advice, as it can disconnect you from your teen. Instead, acknowledge their struggles, give them space, and ask for permission before sharing your advice. Chores and responsibilities can strain the parent-teen relationship. Balance out your interactions by acknowledging and appreciating their efforts. Show that you notice their good qualities and hard work, not just their shortcomings. Understand that teens' brains process information differently. They prioritise novel and external stimuli, so it's not about ignoring you intentionally.  connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

 Understanding the Situation: School can be a whirlwind of activity, especially for teenagers. Multiple classes, changing environments, social dynamics—it's a lot to handle. The transition from school to home can be challenging. Teens may need time to decompress and de-stress. When parents bombard them with questions immediately, it can feel overwhelming and irritating. 💡 Tips for Better Communication: Give Space: Instead of asking a barrage of questions, greet your teen with a simple "Hey, nice to see you." Let them know it's okay to take time for themselves. Connect later when they're more relaxed. Find Common Ground: If your teen isn't enthusiastic about school, shift the conversation to their interests or hobbies. Ask about friends, sports, or any other topics they're passionate about. Respect Their Routines: Understand that after-school activities, like tutoring or sports, may further drain their energy. Let them decompress on their terms. connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

I speak about some of the unique challenges parents often face as their children transition into their teenage years. This phase can be a time of perceived rejection as teens assert their independence, leaving parents feeling less needed. Key takeaways: Understanding the Transition: Adolescence marks a significant shift from childhood to the teenage years, accompanied by changes in friendship groups and the move to high school. Teens naturally seek independence and autonomy as they explore their identities, often making parents feel rejected or unneeded. Shifting Roles: Parents must recognise the change from a "manager" role to a "consultant." Your position description evolves, but you remain a crucial part of your teen's life. Avoid responding as if you've been "fired" from your role. Instead, consider how you can adapt to this new position as a consultant. Managing Your Reactions: Reflect on how you respond to situations that might feel like rejection. Identify the specific triggers and your emotional reactions, such as sadness, loneliness, or frustration. Avoid projecting your hurt onto your teen. Be aware that your emotions are shaped by your interpretation of their actions. Open and Honest Communication: Use clear, non-judgmental language to express your desire for connection. Instead of passive-aggressive comments, be direct about your wishes. Modelling Accountability: Apologise and take responsibility for your reactions when you react poorly to a situation. Encourage your teen to communicate their feelings without feeling responsible for your emotions. Addressing Hurtful Comments: When your teen makes hurtful comments, such as "I hate you," try to identify the underlying emotion, like disappointment or anger. Address the specific emotion rather than justifying your actions. Show understanding and empathy. Setting Boundaries: Establish healthy boundaries to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Clearly communicate what you can and can't do to manage your time and commitments. Teach your teen the importance of setting boundaries by respecting their limits as well. Prioritising Self-Care: Self-care is essential to maintaining your well-being and role-modeling emotional resilience. Demonstrating your ability to handle ups and downs calmly and collectedly can positively impact your teen's emotional development. Remember, it takes a calm brain to calm a brain.  By focusing on understanding, empathy, and effective communication, you can navigate the challenges of this phase with your teenager while maintaining a strong and supportive relationship.  Connected Teens on sale NOW https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/ Get the free ebook https://marievakakis.com.au/my-teen-wont-talk-to-me/ connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/ Mentioned in this episode: Book your spot now Grab your ticket to Connected Teens --> https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/

In today's episode, we delve into a complex and deeply human emotion: rejection. It's a feeling that touches all of us at some point or another, and it's something that we all need to navigate. Key Takeaways: Rejection is a normal feeling. It's often closely associated with sadness  Rejection can show up following a range of situations from not getting a job to the end of a relationship, and it can be emotionally crushing. Our core beliefs and self-esteem play a pivotal role in how we process and respond to rejection. Rejection can also impact our self-esteem - the two can be closely linked Our brains don't like ambiguity, so they create stories to fill in the gaps when we face rejection. These stories can perpetuate negative beliefs about ourselves. How we respond to rejection can have a profound impact on our relationships and mental health. We're hardwired for connection, and our brains interpret rejection as physical pain. This explains why rejection can feel so agonizing. Some individuals have heightened sensitivities to rejection, which can stem from early experiences or conditions like ADHD. Rejection can lead to a sense of learned helplessness, which can further damage our self-esteem In part one of this two-part series, we've explored the nuances of rejection and its profound impact on our lives. We've uncovered how our core beliefs, self-esteem, and responses play a role in how we experience rejection. Stay tuned for part two, where we delve into the complexities of rejection in parenting, particularly during the challenging transition from childhood to adolescence. Mentioned in this episode: Book your spot now Grab your ticket to Connected Teens --> https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/

In this episode, I had the pleasure of speaking with Jenny Brown, who has developed a project aimed at supporting parents in navigating the challenges of parenting adolescents. I first came across Jenny in my family therapy studies, and her work has left a lasting impression on me. Her dedication to understanding and helping parents in their journey of raising kids and teenagers has been influential in my own work as a family therapist. Throughout our discussion, we touched upon various aspects of parenting during the adolescent years. Jenny shares her expertise and offers valuable insights and guidance on improving parent-child relationships. Key takeaways Background and Project: Jenny Brown discusses how the Parent Hope Project is rooted in her earlier article, "We Don't Need Your Help But Can You Please Fix Our Children?" She emphasises the importance of involving parents in therapy, as the parent-child relationship is a crucial part of the therapeutic process. Communication and Tone: Jenny and I talk about the importance of effective communication between parents and adolescents. We highlight the significance of shifting from a controlling or passive-aggressive tone to one that encourages open dialogue and collaboration. Empathy and Understanding: The conversation emphasises the importance of empathy for parents and young people. Understanding the challenges and mixed messages that adolescents often convey and how parents can navigate some of these difficult conversations Making a Project out of Yourself: Jenny advises parents to shift their focus from trying to change their child to making a project out of themselves. This means being aware of their emotional tone, adjusting their communication, and allowing their child space to grow and develop their own identity. About Jenny Dr Jenny Brown has been working in the field of child and family mental health and family therapy since the 1980’s. She has been a trainer and supervisor in the field in Australia and internationally for over 20 years. Jenny is Emeritus Executive Director of the Family Systems Institute Sydney, which she co-founded in 2004. She currently directs the Family Systems Practice and the Parent Hope Project (manualized interventions in child mental health). She is a clinical member and supervisor for the Australian Association of Family Therapy and, in 2018, received the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy award for distinguished contribution to family therapy in Australia. In 2022 she received the annual research award from Bowen Centre for the Study of the Family in Washington DC. parenthopeproject.com.au;  thefsi.com.au;  https://www.cambridgescholars.com/product/978-1-5275-1748-6  25% Discounted Code: PROMO25 connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/ Mentioned in this episode: Book your spot now Grab your ticket to Connected Teens --> https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/

In this episode, I explore the importance of preparing for therapy and what to expect. This podcast episode emphasises the importance of preparing for therapy by clarifying goals and expectations. It debunks common therapy myths, offers strategies to manage pre-session anxiety, and highlights the significance of building trust and effective communication with a therapist for a successful therapeutic journey. Before booking your first session, it's helpful to consider what you want to achieve through therapy. This clarity can help you choose the right therapist and focus your efforts effectively. Questions to Reflect On: Why Are You Seeking Therapy Now? Understanding the trigger for seeking therapy can provide valuable context for your sessions. What Are Your Hopes and Expectations? Define what you want to achieve through therapy and discuss these expectations with your therapist. What Goals Do You Want to Work On? Identify specific behaviours or changes you'd like to see in your life. Managing Pre-Session Anxiety: It's common to feel nervous before your first therapy session. You can prepare by reflecting on your feelings and using resources like workbooks to structure your thoughts. Common Myths About Therapy: Myth 1: Believing that nothing can help your problems is limiting. Therapy can shed light on patterns and beliefs that impact your life. Myth 2: Expecting others to change without considering your role in relationships is unproductive. Therapy often involves self-awareness and personal growth Building Trust with Your Therapist: Trust in therapy is a two-way street. Communicate openly with your therapist about your needs, challenges, and preferences. It's essential to feel comfortable and aligned with your therapist's approach. Effective Communication with Your Therapist: Establish a communication style that suits you. Whether it's sharing feedback, asking questions, or requesting specific support, open dialogue can enhance your therapeutic experience. Remember, therapy is a collaborative process, and finding the right therapist for you is essential. If you ever feel uncomfortable or that your therapist isn't a good fit, it's okay to explore other options.  Get in touch with Marie contact@marievakakis.com.au https://thetherapyhub.com.au/  https://marievakakis.com.au/  https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/ Get the journal  https://thetherapyhub.com.au/the-journal-pdf/

In this podcast episode, I'm addressing the significance of "R U OK? Day," which falls on September 14th. This day serves as a reminder to discuss mental health and suicide prevention. I talk briefly about the history of R U OK? Day and its transformation into a vital social movement dedicated to preventing suicides. Throughout the episode, I share some statistics related to suicide in Australia and the importance of sensitive language when discussing this topic. I debunk some common myths about suicide, such as the misconception that people who talk about it are merely seeking attention. I also stress that suicides often come with warning signs, and they can affect anyone, not just those with diagnosed mental illnesses. Here are four essential tips for engaging in conversations about suicide: Direct Communication: Approach someone you suspect may be struggling with suicidal thoughts with clear and direct questions. Ask if they're having thoughts of ending their life. Avoid vague or judgmental language. Provide Support: If the person admits to having suicidal thoughts, work together to keep them safe. Connect them with appropriate professional help, such as a GP or a suicide hotline. Follow Up: After initial contact with professional help, check in with the individual. Show that you care and want to support them through their journey. Normalise Conversations: Encourage open discussions about mental health and suicide prevention. Seek out resources and training programs to improve your communication skills in this crucial area. Remember that your support as a compassionate friend can make a significant difference. Suicide knows no boundaries, and the more comfortable we become with these conversations, the better equipped we are to help those in need. For additional resources and training programs, please refer to the links and information provided below. Resources https://www.ruok.org.au/ https://www.lifeline.org.au/ https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/  https://mhfa.com.au/ connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In this episode of "This Complex Life," I interview Patch Callahan, a clinical psychologist, to explore the concept of values and their importance in therapy, specifically in the context of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Patch provides insights into the difference between values and goals, as well as practical tips on defining and living your values. The conversation in this episode delves into the challenges of discovering and living by one's values, including how to handle discomfort, make decisions, and find psychological flexibility. Patch Callahan's insights provide a valuable guide for those looking to explore and learn about themselves. Key Takeaways: Understanding Values vs. Goals: Patch distinguishes between values and goals. Values are the underlying principles that guide our behaviour and choices, while goals are specific achievements or targets. Values provide the "why" behind our actions, giving them deeper meaning. Values are the deeply held principles and beliefs that guide our actions, behaviours, and decisions. They represent what is meaningful and important to us and serve as a compass for living an authentic and fulfilling life. Importance of Values: Identifying and living according to our values can lead to a more purposeful and fulfilling life. It helps us make choices aligned with our true desires, fostering authenticity and satisfaction. Defining Your Values: Start by considering various life domains, such as family, relationships, work, health, and leisure. Reflect on what is genuinely important to you within each domain, drilling down to specific values. Aim to narrow down your values to a manageable handful, around 5 or 6, that resonate deeply with you and activate a sense of purpose. Challenges in Identifying Values: Some people may struggle to discern their values. It's essential to explore, experiment, and learn through trial and error, seeking professional guidance if needed. Three Tips to Define Your Values: Reflect on Life Domains: Consider different aspects of your life, such as family, relationships, work, health, and leisure, and identify what matters most to you within each domain. Drill Down to Specific Values: Delve deeper within each domain to identify specific values that resonate with you. For example, within the family domain, you might value connection, vulnerability, or reliability. Narrow Down to a Handful: Aim to narrow down your values to around 5 or 6 that feel deeply meaningful and guide your actions. These values should be tangible and connect with your desired future. Importance of Defining Your Values: Identifying your values is crucial because they provide a clear sense of purpose and direction in life. Living according to your values fosters authenticity, helps you make choices aligned with your true desires, and leads to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. It allows you to navigate challenges and make decisions that resonate with your core beliefs and principles. Resources Bulls eye activity Get in touch with Patch  https://actofliving.com.au/our-team/patch-callahan/  Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In today's episode, I talk about complaining and how we address problems. Complaining is not great for our mental health and wellbeing. It can create a habit in our brain to focus on negative things. It can also impact relationships. Main Talking Points: Complaining vs. Stating Facts: Often, we don't realise we're complaining when we think we're just stating facts or observations. This can lead us to believe our complaints are justified when in reality, they're often just negative thoughts in disguise. Impact on Relationships: Frequent complaining can damage relationships and create a negative atmosphere. Recognising that what we express affects those around us is essential to maintaining healthy interactions. Shifting Focus to Positives: Our brains are wired to seek out danger and negatives as a survival mechanism. However, constantly focusing on the negative can lead to finding more things that go wrong and that are negative. It's like we’re looking out for them  Embracing the analogy of "having a pony and needing to shovel shit" can help us reframe problems. Just as having a pony brings responsibilities, many good things come with challenges that need to be addressed. Circle of Control or circle of influence: Understanding the concept of the "Circle of Control" can guide us in distinguishing what we can control, influence, or have no control over. This perspective helps us allocate our energy wisely and respond more thoughtfully to situations. Remember, we all have the choice to decide what we focus on and how we respond. By becoming more mindful of our thoughts and expressions, we can reshape our mindset and approach to problems, ultimately improving our wellbeing and relationships.  connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Why do some people avoid couples therapy? In this episode, Belinda and I talk about fears and hesitation surrounding couples therapy. We discuss stigmas and misconceptions that prevent people from seeking the help they need to nurture and grow their relationships. In this episode  Belinda and I discuss the value of couples therapy  We talk about how to find the right therapist who can work with the specific challenges faced within your relationship. We discussed ways of navigating challenging conversations.  We talk about the importance of being curious rather than critical during difficult discussions. The role of individual therapy and how it can complement couples therapy  Couples therapy can be a transformative experience for relationships, providing tools and insights to improve communication, connection, and conflict resolution. By being curious and seeking the right therapist, individuals can foster a deeper understanding of their relationship dynamics.  About Belinda Gibson Belinda is a registered Psychologist and Gestalt Psychotherapist, and is the founder and director of Footscray Counselling Centre, where she provides individual, couples and groups with relationally orientated psychotherapy supervision and therapy. Belinda also works as a consultant to various academic and medical organisations, facilitating reflective group practice, training workshops and supervision. https://footscraycounsellingcentre.com.au/ Blog post mentioned https://thetherapyhub.com.au/is-it-too-late-for-couples-therapy-5-benefits-of-couples-therapy/ Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

What is EMDR Therapy In this episode of This Complex Life, I sit down with Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and EMDR Therapy Trainer Caroline Burrows. Caroline and I discuss the use of EMDR therapy and how we use it to support folks with traumatic experiences and difficult memories  Understanding EMDR  Therapy? EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It's a type of psychological therapy that activates the brain's natural healing capacity to overcome painful life experiences that keep impacting us. The EMDR Process. EMDR therapy can be broken down into eight phases, starting from building a strong therapeutic relationship to preparing the person for the processing of traumatic or negative memories and experiences. EMDR Therapy aims to help individuals gain control over distressing experiences, making them less vivid, reducing attached emotions, and changing the way they think about the events. EMDR therapy isn't a one-size-fits-all solution.  The number of sessions and techniques used varies from person to person based on their needs and the complexity of their experiences. It's about finding the best fit for each individual. Resource Building Caroline highlights the importance of resource building. This phase involves equipping the person with coping skills and confidence both during and outside of EMDR sessions. These resources help them manage any emotional processing that continues after therapy. Key Takeaways: EMDR therapy activates the brain's natural healing to overcome painful experiences. The therapy is personalised, with no fixed number of sessions. Don't be afraid to ask questions and advocate for yourself during therapy sessions. Resource building is essential to support clients in their healing journey. EMDR Therapy can benefit individuals dealing with trauma, depression, anxiety, and more. Further reading or resources EMDRAA website: www.emdraa.org Mindful Living website: www.mindfulliving.com.au Free resources for the public: www.mindfulliving.com.au/resources/ The book discussed: www.everymemorydeservesrespect.com/ Connect with Caroline  Caroline Burrows is an Accredited EMDR Trainer and Consultant with a background in Clinical Social Work and Psychotherapy. She has over 15 years of experience providing therapeutic services across community, hospital, medical and university settings. She is the Owner and Director of Mindful Living, a group private practice in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne. As the EMDR Coordinator at The Melbourne Clinic, Caroline developed the first inpatient hospital EMDR program in Victoria. She has an infectious enthusiasm for EMDR Therapy and provides innovative EMDR training and consultation and clinical supervision to mental health professionals across Australia and abroad. Caroline loves encouraging, motivating and mentoring therapists as they embrace the opportunities that EMDR Therapy brings. For more details, visit www.carolineburrows.com.au Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In this episode I’ll be talking about Bids for Connection, those small gestures that can make or break a relationship. From couples to parents and teenagers, we'll explore the importance of responding positively to these bids with kindness and love to create stronger connections and build trust. Research has shown that a healthy relationship can have significant positive effects on our mental and physical health, while unhealthy relationships can have a negative impact on our mental and physical health. One to build strong connections in intimate relationships is by using bids for connection. Bids for Connection are little actions or communications used by someone to establish or maintain a connection with another person. They can be obvious or subtle, spoken or unspoken. I share the three common ways people respond to bids  Turning Towards, Turning Away, and Turning Towards Unkindly   and why it's essential to be mindful of our reactions. Key Takeaways: Recognising bids for connection fosters emotional intimacy and trust. Responding positively to bids creates a nurturing and supportive relationship environment. Missed bids can lead to emotional distance, conflict, and feelings of loneliness. Repairing missed bids involves acknowledging the oversight and making an effort to reconnect. Building strong relationships with teenagers involves turning towards their bids, even when they seem negative or hostile. Remember, the quality of our relationships greatly influences our overall wellbeing. So let's start paying attention Connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In this episode of This Complex Life, I sit down with psychologist Belinda Gibson for a candid conversation about the pressures of perfectionism and the pervasive feeling of not being good enough. We share insights from our client work and personal experiences, discussing how this belief can impact relationships and self-esteem without us even realising it. Join us as we explore ways to recognise and address these feelings, and learn how to engage in meaningful conversations with friends and family.  Where do our feelings of "Not Feeling Good Enough" come from? We discuss how this belief is learned over time and becomes a strong, almost inherent feeling. Unpacking Shoulds: We talk about how the use of "shoulds" in language can indicate feelings of failure and not being good enough. We delve into how these internal judgments manifest in day-to-day life. The Pressure to Be Perfect: We discuss the societal expectation that we must excel in something to enjoy it fully, and how this belief stifles exploration and playfulness. Shame and Growth: We explore how shame can hinder our growth mindset, making it difficult to embrace vulnerability and learn new skills. Seeking Support: We talk about the importance of self-compassion and finding safe spaces and people to share our vulnerabilities and growth journeys. Key Takeaways: The "not good enough" feeling can appear in various aspects of life, affecting our choices and behaviours. Societal expectations of perfectionism can hinder our enjoyment of activities we might otherwise find pleasurable. Shame linked to inadequacy can impede personal growth and learning new skills. Fear of rejection may lead to avoiding tough conversations, affecting genuine connections. Seeking support and finding safe spaces for self-exploration can be instrumental in untangling the "not good enough" feeling. Belinda is a registered Psychologist and Gestalt Psychotherapist, and is the founder and director of Footscray Counselling Centre, where she provides individual, couples and groups with relationally orientated psychotherapy supervision and therapy. Belinda also works as a consultant to various academic and medical organisations, facilitating reflective group practice, training workshops and supervision. https://footscraycounsellingcentre.com.au/ Further reading or resources The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown: A book on embracing vulnerability and self-compassion. Kristin Neff's Self-Compassion Resources: Guided meditations and self-compassion checklist to foster self-compassion https://self-compassion.org/ Inside Out (Movie): Check out this animated film that offers a creative depiction of emotions and inner struggles. Full show notes link https://marievakakis.com.au/episode70/ connect with Marie https://thetherapyhub.com.au/ https://marievakakis.com.au/ https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

In this episode, we dive into the topic of worry with Dr. Lillian Nejad, a clinical psychologist with extensive experience in helping people manage anxiety and stress. We explore the definition of worry, its relationship with anxiety, and common misconceptions about it. Lillian sheds light on the purpose and function of worry, highlighting situations where it can be helpful and when it becomes unproductive. Join us as we discuss the impact of excessive worry on daily life and relationships, and explore strategies for managing worry effectively. Key Talking Points: ·     Worry is the cognitive expression of anxiety, characterised by thoughts that often start with "what if" and focus on anticipating negative outcomes ·     Worry can also be centred around past behaviour and regrets, known as rumination, where individuals constantly replay events they wish had gone differently ·     While anxiety is a feeling, worry is a thought process triggered by anxiety ·     Worry serves a purpose by alerting us to potential problems, allowing us to take preventive measures, solve issues, or be better prepared ·     Dysfunctional worry occurs when it fails to lead to problem-solving or resolution, becomes uncontrollable, and significantly impacts daily functioning. ·     Excessive worry can affect concentration, sleep patterns, productivity, and overall wellbeing ·     Worry can also impact relationships, as anxious energy can be sensed by others, even if not explicitly expressed Key Takeaways: ·    Worry is the cognitive aspect of anxiety, involving thoughts focused on potential negative outcomes. ·    Understanding the purpose of worry helps differentiate between productive and unproductive worry. ·    Dysfunctional worry hinders problem-solving and resolution, and can have a significant impact on daily functioning. ·    Excessive worry affects concentration, sleep, productivity, and relationships. ·    Recognising what can and can't be controlled helps shift focus to actionable steps and reduces worry. ·    Developing strategies to manage and regulate worry is essential for overall wellbeing. Resources: •  Skills for Life: Dr. Lillian Nejad's online portal for mental health resources and programs - website •  Contain Your Brain: An app designed by Dr. Lillian Nejad to help reduce worry and improve worry management. Books by Dr. Lillian Nejad can be found here https://www.drlilliannejad.com/books Life blockers Treating stress and anxiety Relaxation techniques Life Skills for Leaders: Dr. Lillian Nejad's podcast discussing mental health in the workplace About Lillian Dr. Lillian Nejad is a clinical psychologist with 25 years experience helping people with anxiety and stress. In addition to her private practice, she has founded ‘Skills for Life’, an online portal for mental health resources and programs that helps people build skills to manage anxiety, stress less and get some rest. Lillian has recently launched the app, Contain Your Brain, to help people worry less and worry better! She is also the author of two books about stress & anxiety and insomnia, she has recorded three collections of mindfulness and relaxation exercises and...

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