95: Bullying: why it happens and what to do about it
From a former bully and someone who’s been bullied, Neil and I both share our experiences with bullying in today’s podcast. We talk about why Neil was a bully as a kid, and what he’s done to try to make it right.
We also share tips from professionals on how to help your child to NOT be a bully, and what to do if they are being bullied. Finally, I share a personal story of when I was bullied in middle school, how that has affected me, and what I’ve tried to do to make that a learning experience.
As you’re listening to this episode, hopefully, you can think back on those times you were treated unkindly and maybe times you’ve treated others unkindly. Let this serve as a gentle knock on your door to remind you to do better where you can, to teach by example, and to make amends, whether directly or indirectly, so true healing can happen.
In this episode, you will hear:
How the 12 steps apply to bullying
Step 4 - doing an inventory of the wrongs you've committed against others and the exact nature of your wrongs
How most of your core beliefs - why you believe what you believe about yourself and the world around you - are shaped by your childhood experiences
Faulty core beliefs cause problems later in life including depression, addiction, or malady.
What do you do about knowing that you may have caused some trauma to someone? How do you make that right?
Step 9 - prepare yourself to make direct amends with someone, and if for some reason that's not possible, make indirect amends
The powerful healing experience of making amends
Why bullies bully - the link between “coolness” and aggression
Ways to prevent bullying behavior in your kids (and it starts at home through teaching by example)
How these issues stem from seeking validation
Humility is one of the hardest things.
Bullies have a lot going on at home (ex. anger, grief, etc.)
What to do if your child is being bullied
Learning from the bullying experience instead of choosing a victim mentality
Supporting Resources:
“The Worth of Souls and the Problem of Bullying” by Jonathan Cox
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2015/10/the-worth-of-souls-and-the-problem-of-bullying?lang=eng
“Knowing Why Bullies Bully is Key to Stopping the Trend” by Michael Friedman PhD
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brick-brick/201405/knowing-why-bullies-bully-is-key-stopping-the-trend
Subscribe and Review
Have you subscribed to our podcast? We’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
Produced by Emerald City Productions
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We also share tips from professionals on how to help your child to NOT be a bully, and what to do if they are being bullied. Finally, I share a personal story of when I was bullied in middle school, how that has affected me, and what I’ve tried to do to make that a learning experience.
As you’re listening to this episode, hopefully, you can think back on those times you were treated unkindly and maybe times you’ve treated others unkindly. Let this serve as a gentle knock on your door to remind you to do better where you can, to teach by example, and to make amends, whether directly or indirectly, so true healing can happen.
In this episode, you will hear:
How the 12 steps apply to bullying
Step 4 - doing an inventory of the wrongs you've committed against others and the exact nature of your wrongs
How most of your core beliefs - why you believe what you believe about yourself and the world around you - are shaped by your childhood experiences
Faulty core beliefs cause problems later in life including depression, addiction, or malady.
What do you do about knowing that you may have caused some trauma to someone? How do you make that right?
Step 9 - prepare yourself to make direct amends with someone, and if for some reason that's not possible, make indirect amends
The powerful healing experience of making amends
Why bullies bully - the link between “coolness” and aggression
Ways to prevent bullying behavior in your kids (and it starts at home through teaching by example)
How these issues stem from seeking validation
Humility is one of the hardest things.
Bullies have a lot going on at home (ex. anger, grief, etc.)
What to do if your child is being bullied
Learning from the bullying experience instead of choosing a victim mentality
Supporting Resources:
“The Worth of Souls and the Problem of Bullying” by Jonathan Cox
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2015/10/the-worth-of-souls-and-the-problem-of-bullying?lang=eng
“Knowing Why Bullies Bully is Key to Stopping the Trend” by Michael Friedman PhD
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brick-brick/201405/knowing-why-bullies-bully-is-key-stopping-the-trend
Subscribe and Review
Have you subscribed to our podcast? We’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.
Episode Credits
Produced by Emerald City Productions
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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