S5. Ep4. Yelling into a void. Why are we still not talking about severe perineal trauma?

Nine years on from a traumatic birth that led to a fourth degree tear, Verity still finds herself wondering if there is more she could have done; asked a different person, articulated herself differently, said the magic words that would have got her the help she so desperately needed.

The reality however, is that she pushed and pushed and pushed. Went down every avenue, was articulate in her concerns, her needs and her emotional vulnerability. Had it not been for her mother and a GP who finally listened, Verity believes her story could have had a disastrous ending.

In her conversation with us, Verity is open and honest about her birth, her fourth degree tear, subsequent surgery and the toll that took, and continues to take, on her physical and emotional health. She believes that this transparency is crucial, not just for her healing but for others in her position, and there are many. With so much secrecy and misunderstanding still surrounding severe tears, many woman still feel ashamed to talk openly about the reality of living a changed life as a result.

Verity speaks eloquently about this, her personal experience, her fear at falling pregnant a second time and her belief that the impact of her trauma will continue through the generations. Yet at the time, not one person even mentioned the phrase 'birth trauma'.